Why Do I Get Scared...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Why Do I Get Scared...?
2
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 8:08pm
Well i have been with my man for almost a yr now... and for some reason i keep thinking he is going to or is cheating on me.. but then i think about it he is with me almost EVERY day.. so how could he..? you kno.. plus he seems really serious about me... but i keep messing up the relationship.. i always pick at him.. i always make a big deal if he decides not to spend a day with me that hes supposed to.. when he changs thing i get really upset and i have no idea why!! i have no signs that he is cheating on me but i still do this.. i think that it coudl be from past relationships where they did cheat on me.. but what can i do to stop this!! its messing up my relationship!! I NEED HELP PLEASE...
Cheri
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 12:59pm

You do need help. It's common to worry about a present relationship when you've been cheated on before, but it's not a good thing. You are putting your fears and insecurities upon him, and this can easily make him feel suffocated and as though he has to do much too much to make you feel secure. When a woman becomes too demanding, a guy often wants to get away.

I suggest you see a counselor to talk over what happened in the past so you can work it through within yourself and get free of these fears. Otherwise, as you can see yourself, these fears have a life of their own and continue to run your life.

Go find someone who is really well trained and sit down, face yourself and work this through.

Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 4:27pm

Welcome to the board Cheri,


Has he given you any reason not to trust him? It is important to remember that everyone is different and just because someone in your past cheated on you doesn't mean that every guy will.


You could try going to the library or bookstore and looking for self help books on learning to trust.


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