Why does he do this if he loves me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Why does he do this if he loves me?
2
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 9:05am

I've been with my bf for 2 yrs now, we've lived together for 6 months, just got a dog a few months ago. Life with him has been awesome. I think we have a great r'ship 99% of the time. We talk about getting married. I love him more than anything.

So here's what happens that I don't understand:

I went to bed last night around 10, and he stayed up watching baseball and I know he had quite a few drinks. He comes to bed at midnight and falls asleep right away. Then his phone beeps - text message. It's from a girl he is/was friends with, and I know they hooked up once before I met him. Apparently he texted her saying he sure could use a massage from her. All she replied was "oh really?".

So I didn't sleep last night, maybe for an hour. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. So I sent him a few text messages about what I saw, so he knows I know. And I told him how I felt. I have not heard from him yet this morning.

Also, A few months ago, I saw he called another ex after I had gone to bed one weekend. Again, he had been drinking, (so had I, and I went to bed before him.) I blew up about that and he told me she is his friend and that's it. And he'll be friends with who he wants.

So why does he do this? He tells me he's happy and he's usually so good to me and always complimenting me. We have a great sex life. but it's like he goes through these phases every once in a while, like he's bored, and then it goes away, happens again.....

Please help!
Kate

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 10:29am

You seem to realize what's going on - and you've been together for two years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 5:03pm

Welcome to the board Kate,


Do you think he could have a drinking problem since you mention that both times this happened he was drinking? I think one of the main things will be if you are able to trust him again after his. Guys don't text their "friends" saying they could use a massage from them. Sorry.


I also think the fact that he hasn't said anything to you about this yet speaks volumes.


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