why doesn't he acknowledge me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
why doesn't he acknowledge me?
5
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 1:40pm
I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months and i love him very much. When we first started going out he called me all the time and I was always over at his house. Then after about 3 months he didn't really call me that much. I usually would call him and make plans with him and would go along with them. I tried talking to him and telling him that I am the only one working at our relationship and it should be both of us. I feel that he doesn't ever want to talk to me. Yesterday I told him to call me and he never did and I called him today and he isn't there. I just want to know where he is and not be worried. I think that our relationship could be very good if he just let me know things and call more often. I don't know what to do to get it planted in his head that he needs to let me know where he's at and to call me. I have tried talking to him many times about it and he always says he will, what should I do? And what does his actions mean?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 1:59pm

Well, he is probably thinking the same thing, this relationship would be great if my girlfriend didn't pester me needing to know where I was all the time and didn't make me "check in" because she is nervous about where I am.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 2:13pm
the thing that i dont understand is why he doesnt think about me more. and when he thinks about me then he should be like "maybe i should call". he understands my feelings because i have told him many times. do you think that maybe he knows that i will be there so he just expects me to do everything, because i have been so far? another question. why doesn't he ever try to get ahold of me when i don't talk to him for a few days, does he not care?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 2:29pm

You really are not getting my point at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 4:32pm
I may be wrong, but you strike me as very clingy. As a woman, i would not want to be with someone who is so clingy.

Then again, if you feel you are making all the plans etc., just stop doing that. Don't be so available. Why should he bother making plans and organizing dates, when he knows you are doing it? You are spoiling him, and now he is taking you for granted. Stop calling him. Get your mind on other things. Get out with your friends without calling him, and see how he reacts. Decide that you are not going to call him. period. Then don't call. If you drift apart... well, maybe it is a good idea. If he still won't move, maybe he is not that interested in the relationship. You really don't want to be with someone who is not interested in you, do you? You want to be with someone who looks forward to being with you! You deserve that, come on!

I used to go out with a guy i really liked. Then I realized I was the one always organizing dates, and I just stopped being available. Now I am perfectly happy with someone who, from the start, made serious efforts to show me he wanted to spend time with me. We are living together now.
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 5:03pm
I agree with gandalf - this looks like a case of 2 people with different ideas about how often they should talk to each other. Either you mesh or you don't.