Why dont i turn him on anymore?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Why dont i turn him on anymore?
3
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 5:41pm
I have been with my boyfriend 3 years now. My big question is why dont i turn him on anymore? We have been threw thick and thin together. When we first got together i couldnt keep his hands off me. Now three years later i have to beg for a cuddle or even sex. I weigh abit more than i did when we first met. That maybe part of the issue. He is 30 and i am 24, maybe its the age differnce. When do men start slowing down? He likes to look at other woman. Skinny and sexy women. We have been together while he had a major drinking problem, when his mom went to prison, threw his DUI's, we lived in my car for awhile. We just recently moved to Tennessee. I havent had sex unless he is drunk or hung over. What is the problem? Do i still turn him on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 5:52pm

Well, number one, it sounds like after all the problems he has had with drinkin, its the last thing he needs to still be doing, but thats a different subject....


All relationships fall into what I like to call the "habit"....you are together so long, that things just fall into a habit, or a ritual. Yo need ot conciously make an effort to spend quality time together..alot of couples(especially men) confuse sitting within 5 feet of each other in front of the tv constitutes quality time.It doesnt.


make monthly dates, even if it is to a park and eating sandwhiches, its something.


But, I would consider counseling,. if anything for his drinking habit, i think its more of a problem than your letting on and could be the basis of many underlying problems.


Best Wishes,


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 3:47pm
Ask him. Put your cards on the table and have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. Tell him you want to express love physically more and you want to know what to do to make it happen? Can he help you?

Reading material:

His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr

Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix

My best to you.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 4:19pm
I do agree with you there. I will try to talk to him about it. I have in the past and it hasnt done much good. Maybe since i got my new job things will change. We wont be around each other as much. I may even lose a little weight. thanks for the advice.