Why is everything so hard?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Why is everything so hard?
6
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 5:49pm
Why is everything so hard? Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3years. Our 4 year anniversirey is on Sept. 14. I love him with all of my everything. We had been separted before, but this one is really hard. I can't stop crying! Anyway, when I was pregant with our first child,he was telling me that he just hired two people. And I said what are they names? And he didn't know one of the girls name but he told me the other one was named Ashley. When I heard her name, I didn't like her. But, then everything started to go wrong. I was having complications with the baby, and he started to change. After that, I lost my first child. He was sad, but then he act like he didn't even care. Then, Ashley's aqpartment got flooded.And he asked me could he call her? And being nice I said yeah? Then everytime he would come over my house he would spend all of his time texting her. And he would go into my bedroom to call this girl. Anyway, it was a rumor started about some saw them in there department kissing and huging. And I really felt low.Then he asked me for a break.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 12:08pm
You deserve so much better. I understand you love this man and I know it's hard to break free from someone you have been so close to and shared your life with. However, you need someone that will be there for you. Losing a baby is a very traumatic experience. If they are just friends then he should include you in the things they do together and not be texting her or calling her outside of working with her. I wish you well and hope you find the happiness you deserve
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 12:32pm

Welcome to the baord crymeariver2007,


Sorry for the loss of your baby.


He's been having at least an emotional affair with her - calling her after the flood, texting her and calling her from your place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 2:48pm

this isn't a break....he broke up with you to be with her.

that is why this one is hard - it is real and beyond your control. he doesn't want you anymore. that is difficult for anyone's ego to accept.

time for you to start to accept it as a real break up this time and move on. really, even if he decides he wants you over her - how could you ever trust him again.

it's over. sorry for your pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 3:54pm
Thank you for the advice. I am starting to get over it. But, it's like I talked to him yesterday;and he actually asked me for advice about this girl. Like basically, she has a crazy ex-boyfriend/baby daddy. So, I guess he asked out on a date. And she said yeah, but now that he texts her she wont text him back and I guess he called her and she didn't answer the phone everytime he calls him. And I told him maybe she's not interested in you no more. Because at first he thought that her ex was beating her. Then someone from work said that they seen her at the job and she was completely fine. And know that all of this stuff is happening at there job, she quit. Because, every since that one of his co-workers said that he since them kissing or whatever. It's been a whole lot of rumors being started about them. So,he asked me what it met of all of these signs he thinks he getting. And then he asked me what if I was her? I told him that maybe she is just not interested in you anymore. He's like well I don't want it to turn out like that.And then I was like the truth hurts huh? So, I know that he still wants me but he is still trapped in his little other life to accept that he still loves me and he shows everytime he comes over that he wants me back and he just doesn't want it to be like last time. When we used to agrue and fight. I told hime it wasn't going to be like that; but he doesn't believe me. So, its his own problem; I getting over this situation and leaving it alone.
Thanks,
crymeariver2007
P.S do have any questions for me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 4:05pm

no questions...just a comment:

he doesn't want to be with you. people do what they want to do. he wants to be with her.

also, please focus on yourself and your life...not his and his relationship problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 10:12pm

Please stop making poor choices. Stop having sex and getting pregnant with this man. Stop giving him advice about other girls. Stop talking to him.

Figure out why your self esteem is so low that you think you deserve this.