Why this is happening again?!
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Why this is happening again?!
| Mon, 01-12-2004 - 12:13pm |
Well, I´m back at this board once again. My bf of 3 years was acting a little distant and I was giving him time. Yesterday we met and talk, he said that 2003 wasnt a good year for our relationship andthat he didnt want to continue like that, i agreed. He said he love me, and that I was the best thing that have ever happen to him but that he would rather broke up now that we still care about each other and leave it like the best thing that happen (the memory) than breaking up later hating each other. He said that something was lost in our relationship (i agree) that it´s just that, because besides that we have fun togewher, get along great and care about each other a lot. He also said that it hurts him to make this dicition now (my whole family left to live in another country)... He also said that he wanted to still see me and cook me and take care of me because he enjoy that.
That he was always thinking about the future with me thinking we would get past any problems we had, but neglected the present.
He said I deserved so much better than him...
I´m kind of sad, not soo devastetad because I saw it coming, but sad anyways. The things that are haunting me the most is that I´m loosing this friend that was always with me for the last 3 years; another thing is the thought of him living the single life, dating and stuff, because that would break my heart and dont know why but that my biggest fear I even dreamt about it last night (like a nightmare).
I´m pretty consious that some magic was lost in this years, and with this fights and stuff, I want that magic. But I also want him, my friend, my companion, specially now with this changed, I need to know I can still count on him.
Yesterday I was pretty cold, because if I wasnt I was going to break down, but today I sent him a post card expresing my feelings. And I´m also scare he would not answer...
It´s like, we have been apart so many times and always came back together that I have this hope. And know some of this pain has to do with him not being able to stay by me durimg this awfull time .
That he was always thinking about the future with me thinking we would get past any problems we had, but neglected the present.
He said I deserved so much better than him...
I´m kind of sad, not soo devastetad because I saw it coming, but sad anyways. The things that are haunting me the most is that I´m loosing this friend that was always with me for the last 3 years; another thing is the thought of him living the single life, dating and stuff, because that would break my heart and dont know why but that my biggest fear I even dreamt about it last night (like a nightmare).
I´m pretty consious that some magic was lost in this years, and with this fights and stuff, I want that magic. But I also want him, my friend, my companion, specially now with this changed, I need to know I can still count on him.
Yesterday I was pretty cold, because if I wasnt I was going to break down, but today I sent him a post card expresing my feelings. And I´m also scare he would not answer...
It´s like, we have been apart so many times and always came back together that I have this hope. And know some of this pain has to do with him not being able to stay by me durimg this awfull time .
