Why is he putting his hands on me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Why is he putting his hands on me?
10
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 10:27am

Hi,


I am a young mom (24), married,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 10:58am

(((HUGS))) and I'm so sorry you're going through this. In the end, it doesn't really matter why he's been so abusive towards you, though, because he doesn't have the right to hurt you like that no matter what. I really think you're in a dangerous situation and that it will escalate if you don't seek help now. While these boards are a great place to seek advice and support, I think you need to seek help in real life, too. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) as soon as possible. I know they can really help you.


Come back soon and let us know how you're doing

_________________________________________________


Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 12:56pm

You are in danger and need to get help immediately. His behavior is unacceptable and this kind of physical abuse often escalates. This man has serious anger management problems, and he is not only being physically abusive to you, but emotionally absuive as well.


There are organizations and support groups for abused women. You need to contact one. You have to find out how to protect yourself emotionally, legally and physically from him. Even though you love him, the way things are, it is dangerous for you to stay.


Speak to a counsellor, thearpist, pastor, doctor, lawyer,...educate yourself about how to proceede and get the help you need so badly.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 1:00pm

Welcome to the board sadmummy,


I agree with Stephanie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 1:10pm

You're not in a marriage, you're being held captive by your own unwillingness to leave.

Getting out is not an option, it's obligatory. You have the responsibility to protect your child. Don't wait for it to come to hitting - it's only a matter of time before he WILL hurt you and if he can hurt you, then he can hurt your baby. Men like this do not put a limit on their own behavior. He is out of control.

Please find someone you can stay with so that you can start consulting a lawyer. Calling the national domestic abuse hotline is a really good start. Good luck, we're all behind you here!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 1:18pm
I am so sorry your husband is putting you and your children through this, making all of you the victims of his abusive behavior.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 1:36pm

Thank you for your replies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 2:02pm

Does you mom know that you husband is putting his hands on you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 2:58pm

Welcome to the sadmummy,


Your husband isn't going to change. Yes, you can kick him out of the house since his name isn't on the deed of the house. If he refuses to leave, call the cops of him. If he abuses you again, than call the cops of him.


I am sorry your mother didn't understand what you are going through, but you are not making too big of a deal about this. You need to do what is best for you and your children and that is getting away from your husband.


Please feel free to post on the board anytime.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 3:25pm

Do you live on a small island in the United States?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 6:13pm

Hello there sadmummy, I am one of the CL's over at the Recognizing & Dealing w/Domestic Abuse board and I see a lot of red flags in your post. He has already gotten aggressive w/you and it will only continue to escalate and get worse the longer you stay. I strongly encourage you to contact the DV hotline at 800.799.SAFE and talk to someone as they have ppl available 24/7. I also encourage to check out my website which is also the board website over at Recognizing & Dealing w/Domestic Abuse. The link to the website is down in my sigline, just click on "domestic abuse & helpful resources" and it will take you directly to the site where you will find a goldmine of information. In the middle of the site, I have a list of crisis numbers and information as well as national and international shelter links. You may also want to look at www.womenslaw.org to see exactly what your legal rights are there in the state in which you live.

The cycle of abuse is a constant and there is never an end to it. He may be nice one day and the next day hell may break loose. But I'm very concerned for your safety as he has already shoved you up against the wall and has cursed you. The next time he may out and out hit you and I don't say that to scare you, I say that out of my own personal experience and I know how these abuser's are and what they can do. You are more than welcome to come by our board if you like.

But do get in touch w/those resources that have been given to you. You are not alone. Where there is hope, there is help.

5yrssm