Wife is low priority?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Wife is low priority?
1
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 7:44pm
Hey-

Maybe you guys can offer some advice. My husband and I seem to have problems connecting these days, and don't have a lot of spare time as it is.

But more and more it feels like he doesn't really think about me when he considers doing things. LIke going to play music with his friends, this is something healthy for him to do and I encourage it, but a lot of the time his friends will call up and ask him to come out and play and he'll drop everything to do that.

He told me last week he was taking a break from playing music with them, and then after a week and a half, he jumps up and runs out there again (after saying it would be at least 2 weeks).

Its not just the music, but it feels like a lot of other things too. We're both busy people, but its harder and harder to really be able to spend time with him. Its like I'm the lowest priority on his list.

I don't know what to do, we're taking a four day vacation, and hopefully the long weekend will help us to have some time. But I feel like a vacation isn't the answer here, and it will just be the same when we come home.

I feel really hurt and underappreciated, anyone got some ideas?

Rew
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 5:32pm
Communication is key. Being able to express what you want and need without attacking him, making him feel bad about himself or his choices....

Reading material to consider:

How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together: Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love by Sue Ellen Page

A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman

Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix

Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw


Carrie