will he be there in the future?
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will he be there in the future?
| Wed, 06-13-2007 - 5:58pm |
Hello everyone,
i am here to ask for advice and opinions on the following:
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years; i have supported him Financially for almost 2 years of our relationship. I am tired of this, i don’t want to support him anymore, i am scared it will continue well into our marriage, and i don’t want that in my future. He is 28 and i am 26. We are not engaged; i told him i would not make plans until he has a secure job.
I am Tired of this, and have met a wonderful man online, he is very supportive, has a great communication skill with me, he understands me in so many ways, more then my actual boyfriend. But we meet online, and this gives me a great distrust, and he is younger than me 21. I never been the kind to be in On line Relationship, but he would be the exception, i think we could make it work, because he cares for me in so many ways, he always cheers me up, calls me pretty and intelligent all the time. And has told me, that he will fight to prove his seriousness to me and my parents if needed.
I still have some feelings for my boyfriend, But its difficult since, he depends on me to much, He has diabetes type 2, has no control over it, and this is his excuse for not having or maintaining a job(he had a great job in a TV station and was absent for 2 days, because he felt sick, his stomach was hurting)they replaced him.
I am tired of having to take care of him, giving him priority, I myself have asthma, and have stopped my treatments in order to support him.
My question is, will this go on into our marriage? i have asked him if he would help me in the future if i was to lose my job, he replied: Don’t think of the future, think of the present.
I am not convinced with that answer.
Edited 6/13/2007 7:29 pm ET by magazas
i am here to ask for advice and opinions on the following:
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years; i have supported him Financially for almost 2 years of our relationship. I am tired of this, i don’t want to support him anymore, i am scared it will continue well into our marriage, and i don’t want that in my future. He is 28 and i am 26. We are not engaged; i told him i would not make plans until he has a secure job.
I am Tired of this, and have met a wonderful man online, he is very supportive, has a great communication skill with me, he understands me in so many ways, more then my actual boyfriend. But we meet online, and this gives me a great distrust, and he is younger than me 21. I never been the kind to be in On line Relationship, but he would be the exception, i think we could make it work, because he cares for me in so many ways, he always cheers me up, calls me pretty and intelligent all the time. And has told me, that he will fight to prove his seriousness to me and my parents if needed.
I still have some feelings for my boyfriend, But its difficult since, he depends on me to much, He has diabetes type 2, has no control over it, and this is his excuse for not having or maintaining a job(he had a great job in a TV station and was absent for 2 days, because he felt sick, his stomach was hurting)they replaced him.
I am tired of having to take care of him, giving him priority, I myself have asthma, and have stopped my treatments in order to support him.
My question is, will this go on into our marriage? i have asked him if he would help me in the future if i was to lose my job, he replied: Don’t think of the future, think of the present.
I am not convinced with that answer.
Edited 6/13/2007 7:29 pm ET by magazas

This is what your relationship is. Marriage does not change a persons basic personality. You're already looking elsewhere. As far as stopping asthma treatments to support him, I highly suggest you get your priorities straight. Sacrificing your own health and well-being to support someone who takes no responsibility for their own health will never get you what you want. In a healthy relationship you do not sacrifice your physical, mental or emotional well-being.
As for your topic question, he's not there now so I see no reason why he would change in the future.
Welcome to the board magazas,
First, the grass is not greener, this new guy online is not the answer to your prayers. You need to address the issues at home and in the relationship you are currently in.
Thank you very much for helping me, trough this tough time girls
Alright i have an update:
Well we had a talk(me and my Boyfriend), and i told him, that at this moment its both our responsibility to save up, and work hard to be together. I gave him back some money he saved for us, and told him that the both of us have to work hard, and that he has to make that money grow, so we can have a stable future.
It has worked; he is now looking for a job, and is showing interest in working things out.
I wish for our sake things do get better.
But unfortunately if i don’t see any results, its best to leave :/
I am hopeful for the future, and wish things could get better.
As for the online Man, he is amazing, and is helping me so much, he has definitely made a mark in my life, but still, i feel insecure with him, mainly because of the age difference, he is 21 i am 26. He is great, but i don’t want to ruin his life.
I love him so much, he understands me in so many levels, but I am afraid, because of the online thing.
I am as a lot of people, afraid to be alone, and this is why im struggling so much, but even now, I am positive i will find a way
OK, hon, online man and you have spent no time together in person.
Hi again,
I want to comment about meeting someone online. First, I'm not against it.
Hello guys!
Update:
We have decided to part ways. We have been more than a week apart and yesterday we had one of our last conversations. He looks BETTER, more happy and healthy. And he is now returning to his hometown, his family is relived that he took this decision. And he looks even surer of himself.
As for me, I am better also, i think it was best, i was putting to much stress and pressure to something, which unfortunately, could never be. I am now in the Getting my life together part, Focusing on my needs, and trying to advance in life, as much as i can.
I have a plan, and well at the moment that plan only involves ME, and that is totally fine with me ;)
So in the end we both realized that it wasn’t meant to be.
As for Internet guy, Yeeeaah, he is still there for me, and we hope something will develop, i asked him directly, do you think we can make this work? he answered, I THINK WE CAN
so i don’t know what will happen, but im not afraid anymore, i am stronger, because i am finding out, what i truly want in my life.
For the Internet Guy story, i am posting in the ONline dating forum, search for UMTARE, my other user, LOL
Thank you for reading my toughts