will he give me another chance?
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will he give me another chance?
| Tue, 07-20-2004 - 7:07am |
i am a 20 yr old living in the philippines, i met a guy online which i didnt really expect to happen cause i thought hAving a relationship online is not possible especially long distance, he is from california and i am from philippines which literally means we are 9000 miles away from each other. we've been together for 5 months now and when he came to visit me here in the philippines for the very first time last may,things at first started to go so nice and beautiful we travel around in hongkong and china and we came bak in our place and he stayed here for another 4 weeks cause supposed to be he'll gonna go bak to his place june but he extended it because of me,he always talk to me about things that he doesnt like about his stay in our place which i admit that it was my mistake,like not taking him to many places and do something new everyday,those things led him to think and wonder if i really do want him and if i am attracted to him,but i really do love him truly i want him so much in my life that i dont want to lose him i am deeply inlove with him.he did a lot of things for me and i admit that i took it for granted and i dnt know whats my reason of doing it and i regret it.he came bak in CA and we talked he said he wants to break and think things out cause he feels so bad about how what did i do to him but i told him how sorry i am for the things i've done and i wanna have another chance to make wrong things right and i really wanna work on our relationship no matter what happens i told him i love him so much and he answers me bak that he love me so much too and he wants me but when i ask him about continuing our relationship he's gonna say he doesnt know but i totaly understand his feelings towards what i did to him. but i am just hoping he can give me another chance to prove to him that i am sorry and make our relationship more beautiful and i know i can do better of working this out.but i just dont know if he can give me another chance to make things better and now i dont know what to do cause i dont wanna lose him and he is so important to me.i dont what to do now... please help...

'it was my mistake,like not taking him to many places and do something new everyday,'
He wants to break up with you because you didn't take him out everyday? Didn't he enjoy just being with you and getting to know you? Did he comunicate with you what he wanted to do on his vacation? Why was it up to you to plan thinig to do all the time?
Do you really think you did something wrong or are you just taking the blame because he wants you to?
Does he treat you good or did he just want a nice vacation and someone to take care of him and play tour guide?
So far as I can see there is nothing so terrible you did. You say he was upset that you didn't take him many place, to some place new everyday. What's so bad about that? If he wanted to go other places while he was visiting, why didn't he just ask you? Why did he keep this to himself and then build a resentment? It doesn't sound right to me. Also, there's no reason why one has to take a guest to new places everyday. Did you come to see you or to have a travel guide? This was not your role as his hostless. As far as you understood, he came to see you, for the two of you to get to know each other and be together. This does not mean you have to constantly run around and entertain him. I would take a long step back from this situation and look at it carefully. First of all realize that he is blaming you for something that is unclear and that he could have corrected at the time by just communicating. Don't take the blame in. Don't punish yourself over this. He has not been forthright with you and I don't know if he's being honest now. Long distance relationships are very difficult and there is always opportunity for much fantasy to develop. You have more of a fantasy picture about him than really knowing who he is or what he wants. Don't fight to hold onto this. I can't see how it could be good for you. Move forward with your life. Go out with real men in your area who you can become real friends with and slowly get to know. It's always demeaning to chase after someone who is playing games with you.
Best wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
Carrie
Is that why you are willing to take the blame for the problems in the relationship?