Will I Ever Trust Again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Will I Ever Trust Again?
1
Sun, 10-03-2004 - 3:10am
I have horrible trust issues. No matter what my boyfriend tells me, or no matter what I tell myself, I can't stop being so paranoid. I'm afraid I'll never be able to live without keeping my guard up all the time. It's emotionally exhausting, and I feel as though I'm ruining my relationship...

But what if I really do have a reason to be so paranoid?

Please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Sun, 10-03-2004 - 3:35am
That's exactally what paranoid people say. First they say all the reasons why they have NO reason to be paranoid and then comes the "but"...the "but what if". Well what if? What if the sky fell tomorrow? What if the whole world exploded? What if, what if, what if? Well what?

Have previous boyfriends cheated on you? Has he cheated on you? What are the "signs" that he is, did, or might in the future? Listen, no relationship is safe. You could have two people totally in love and married for 50 years and one day one of them cheats. Or you could have the same situation and neither do, or both do. There is just no answer!

Relationships ARE what if, if they weren't this board wouldn't exist. Focus on what you DO know for sure and focus on yourself. I don't think it has anything to do with your boyfriend (unless you've never been paranoid in your life until he did something shady). If you've always been paranoid go see a counselor. If you DO have a reason to be paranoid be up front with your partner and consider seeing a counselor for the two of you.

Being paranoid is no way to live life. You should be able to just trust your partner and not be so scared and uptight. You'll be 100% happier when you get to the root of YOUR insecurities that are making YOU paranoid or you will never have a successful relationship. And you know what? You really do deserve a successful, happy, trusting and loving relationship. Figure out where this is all coming from and get it out of you! Trust me, you are worth it and you'll be a happier person! :)

Good luck! Lindsay