Will it work this time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Will it work this time?
4
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 8:52pm
Do you think going back to your on and off ex BF/GF is a good thing if both are seriously trying to work things out this time because the ex BF seems to have his life together now and is ready to give it another try? This is like our 4th try and the longest time since we've officially broken up (six months). We've always stayed friends through our breakups and could be the reason why we always end up together again. We have a lot of history. We were high school sweethearts and reconnected three years ago. People around us think this is a very romantic and still sees us as a couple. I'm a little apprehensive but would like to give it a try one more time. I've never stopped thinking about him and I've always thought I would end up with him. We are both getting older (both in our mid thirties) and I haven't really found anyone that makes me feel the way he does. I would like to try one more time. Any feedback would be much aprreciated. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 9:03pm
go for it. sounds like you've got enough confidence, and the way you feel for each other is right. no one knows for sure if it'll work out this time, or if any of you have changed enough to make it work, but it's worth a try and find out. good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 8:50am
i am not sure. i guess you can give it one more try, but i always give my boyfriend "one more try" and nothing ever changes. everything is always how it was before. so dont plan on anything being different this time around. people dont change. if there was something you hated about him before it is still going to be there this time around. but if you think you can handle now what you hated before, give it a try!!! and good luck. but i know how much it sucks, when you find out someone, really isnt what you thought they were
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 10:40am

You didnt specify the reasons behind your past break ups, but my answer remains the same...you guys have broken up many times beofre, all for a reason.Remeber them, and honestly ask yourself if you think that this time will be any different.


"when we step back and

 

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 11:40am

It sounds as though there is a lot between the two of you that keeps you coming back to one another - so there is some basis for working things through here. However, you must also be aware that patterns can be very strong and repeat themselves over and over, automatically. If you truly want to work things through and build a relationship that can grow, I suggest the two of you seek outside, professional help with these deep patterns that have kept repeating throughout the years. Often it is difficult to see for ourselves when we are so deeply immersed in a situation. The guidance of a trained professional can do a lot to steer you both on the right course. As this has been going on for so long, I feel this is the best course of action. Thinking that things will just work out by themselves, is often folly. Really approaching them with wisdom, however, can save the day.


Best wishes.