Wondering about 'Wandering Eye'...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Wondering about 'Wandering Eye'...
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 9:07am
I haven't posted in so long because things with my b/f have been so great. It'll be 4 years next month that we've been together. Recap: During the first 2 years, we had broken up 3 times due to his being scared to commit. Things would be going amazing, then BAM, he'd let his head get ahead of himself and run away. But he always came back because he realized that nothing, not my age (I'm 27, he's 36) nor previous hurts could get in the way. So for the past 2 years, things have progressed like I always wanted. The love he feels for me, telling me he loves me all the time, us moving in together, opening a bank account, and talk of marriage/kids all puts my mind at ease-FINALLY- that this is it. But one thing that may sound stupid to most, still bothers me about him: he looks at other women more than I think is norrmal. I mean, it could be as simple as taking the train in to work together in the morning, but if I notice an attractive woman, I always turn to him and watch him watch her. I joke around with him and he gets this smirk on his face and is like, 'what?' so it's not like a fight every day, but it just makes me feel bad about myself, frankly. I am young, fit from working out 6 days a week, and have men looking at me, as well, but for some reason, I just can't shake this off and say that it's just the way it is. He says that he will always look at other women, and that all men look, which I think is true. But my insecurity was never like this with other men. They were always really into me when we were together, with less looking around. But with my b/f, it's like he's really into me AND still looks. I'm not sure why, or maybe if it's just instinctual for him, but it makes me wonder if I'm lacking something he's seeing in this one or that one. I hate feeling this way and come off as insecure and jealous, when in actuality I am feeling better about myself now than I ever have. I just wanted to open up this forum to see if anyone else out there who isn't really insecure ever felt this way. Any suggestions welcome...thanks for listening.