Wondering what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Wondering what to do?
5
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 11:58am

Maybe that is not the right title, because I think if I am honest with myself I know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 12:12pm
I know there were problems going on like your depression, and we don't know what you were like to live with during that time. However, I can't help feeling that your husband only loves you when your thin and if you gain weight he's no longer interested. 168 is not that heavy for someone who is 5'8. I get it, you are attracted to what your attracted to but to walk out and abandon someone who is going through a very hard time is not indicative of someone who is committed to a marriage. It also indicative of someone who is extremely shallow. I would take his behavior as a very big red flag and seriously consider of you want to be with someone who, if in the future you put on weight, ( God forbid you have a kid ) , will probably walk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 1:51pm

If he doesnt give you want you want and need from a partner...then he needs to hear about it, maybe in therapy with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2008
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 1:52pm

Z
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 2:24pm

"He has not officially moved back in but he will not leave the house, and I am miserable."


Let me make sure I understand this: he will not commit to the marriage, but he insists on living in the house--is that correct?


I agree that you need to continue in therapy, because your pleaser personality is blinding you to something: Your husband lived apart from you for a year, and now expects you to act warmly toward him so he can make a decision as to whether or not he wants to continue to be married to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 3:02pm

Welcome to the board stressedandstuck,


It floors me how well he is at turning this around on you, YOU aren't trying now that he wants to come back, though he went over the 6 month mark, YOU didn't lose weight when he wanted you too (like you can do that on command) and now he wants what he wants, what he can't have.