Would Anyone Else React This Way?
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| Tue, 08-05-2008 - 8:14pm |
I've been married for nearly 5 years and my husband and I have 2 children, 3 and 2 months old. A few years ago my husband got a bike. He started riding with a group of guys and has recently been gone 3 weekends since our youngest son has been born. I hate to admit it, but I've become very resentful. He is gone for full weekends, out of town and with a bunch of guys, some unmarried themselves. I know there is a lot of drinking going on, as well as bar hopping. I'm very uncomfortable with this, because whatever has or should happen will never get back to me. He is very quiet about what goes on while he is away. Before our second child was born, I was having problems with the pregnancy. He was gone on one of his weekend trips and did not call to check on us until 2 days in and after I called and left him a message. He claimed he did not have any service, yet he had incoming and outgoing calls on his phone the whole time.
I don't feel that his weekends away are justifiable when they are only a couple of weeks apart and I'm always the one home with the children. My priorities are my children and I would not change that, but I fear that, without realizing it, his priorities have shifted some. I feel he is living the life of a single guy, but still coming home and being a husband when he wants to be. I've mentioned to him that I am uncomfortable with how our relationship is going and he didn't seem to think there was a problem at all. I even went as far as to mention that we should do marriage counseling, which he shot down. I am at my whits end and would like some advice. I watched my mother as a single mom growing up because of these very same issues. Am I being out of line?

'but I fear that, without realizing it, his priorities have shifted some. '
I disagree. I think he is doing what he wants to do, when he wants to do it.
'coming home and being a husband when he wants to be'
When he is home is he a real husband and a good father?
He needs to compromise, especially with the new baby. Has he always been this way? I just wonder if since you said he did this before, why you are surprised...or are you?
Welcome to the board taunje,
::I watched my mother as a single mom growing up because of these very same issues. Am I being out of line?
No you aren't out of line.
Have you asserted yourself and made a plain statement about what you want and how you feel?