Would this bother you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Would this bother you?
13
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:13pm

Often, when my bf and I get out of the car to walk into someplace, he will start walking and not wait for me to catch up. When I complain about him walking in front of me he says I walk too slow and he just can't walk that slowly (He is considerably taller then I am). But he is really not walking any faster than I am--just a few feet ahead. He walks in the door ahead of me and often continues to walk in front of me unless I catch up to him.

I feel this is a sign of disrespect. When I complain about it he will do better for a while, but eventually he'll start doing it again. He also will make a sarcastic remark about not waiting on me when we are in a situation where it is obviously not practical (like if he's carrying something heavy).

What do you all think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:26pm
Yes, it would most definitely bother me! I,too, think it is very disrespectful for him to just walk along like you arent even there. You dont deserve to be treated that way. Tell him how much of a jerk he is being! Dont let him walk all over you, much less ahead of you like you are a little puppy dog following him around!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 4:25am
What does your boyfriend plan to do when he's a father? Toddlers CAN'T walk fast. And I've got an older child who is disabled and also can't walk fast. Does your boyfriend plan to 'forget' to walk slow when he's got kids? Somehow, I think he'd be able to walk slow if he really cared to.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 1:19pm

Welcome to the board lani57,


Does he do anything else disrespectful towards you?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Sat, 05-12-2007 - 1:14pm
He is not usually disrespectful of me in other ways, but in arguments has spoken to me in a disrespectul manner and seems to have a general disrespect toward women. He refers to women in derragatory terms much of the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 2:48pm

"He is not usually disrespectful of me in other ways, but in arguments has spoken to me in a disrespectul manner and seems to have a general disrespect toward women. He refers to women in derragatory terms much of the time."

RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 3:03pm
I agree. I see red flags. Why does he speak badly of women? What does he say?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 6:28pm

Hi lani57,


::He is not usually disrespectful of me in other ways, but in arguments has spoken to me in a disrespectul manner and seems to have a general disrespect toward women. He refers to women in derragatory terms much of the time."


Can I say 'HOLY COW?'


And he walks ahead of you and he's sarcastic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 6:53pm
He has had a bad relationship with his mother which I believe has caused him to have issues with women. He often refers to women as bitches, whores, things like that if he has a problem with them. This bothers me because I have a problem with labels. Plus, someone has to do something really bad to me for me to refer to them in that way. I sometimes wonder if it's just a matter of syntax. Like maybe these words offend me but they don't mean that much to him. As far as I am concerned, he seems to want to take care of me. He mows my yard, repairs things around my house, reminds me to lock my door--things like that. He is very caring toward me. But he told me that he called his ex-wives bitches during fights. Dr. Phil said there is never an acceptable reason to call your wife a bitch. I told him that and he said "what about when they are calling me names?". I guess I didn't have a good answer for that but I told him he better not ever call me that because I will leave.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 10:39am
It is very worrisome that he thinks it is okay to call women these types of names.

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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 3:09pm

It really doesn't matter how it would make me feel, or anyone else. How does it make you feel? You are the person in the relationship who is experiencing this. If you don't like it, if it makes you feel disrespected or not considered, then let him know again. If

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