Is this wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2007
Is this wrong?
2
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 4:09pm

My bf and I broke up about 3 months ago (I dumped him and we never really talked about it). We have a child together and up until last week the only time we talked was to see when he was picking her up etc. Nothing more.

Our daughter is out of town for a few weeks and he came over one night last week to talk to her when I called her. We got to talking and it came down to the "are you dating anyone?" I told him that there was someone that was interested in me but I didn't want to date just yet. He told me that he loved me but I deserved someone better and he wanted to be able to be friends because of our daughter. He said he wasn't dating anybody but had slept with a couple of women and, he didn't want a realtionship with anyone and just wanted to do whatever he wanted to. He said that we were together for 10 years and he never had the oppurtunities to date like I did (I'm 7 years older than him)

Well..... Monday morning rolls around and I get a phone call from him. He wanted to talk about getting back together. I told him that we could. He came over and we agreed to work on things and take baby steps. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to do this since he had told me that he wanted to do whatever he wanted too and not be in a relationship. He said that he had thought about it for a few days and that he was having trouble sleeping and wanted to be with me and our daughter. I asked him about the other women and he said that they didn't mean anything to him. They were just there.

So far were actually talking things through instead of screaming and me telling him to leave. We've made some plans to take our daughter on vacation in September and were having a good time together.

I keep thinking about what he said about the other women and wanting to do whatever he wants and being in a relationship with me for so long. I'm not mad at him he told me the truth and we were'nt together when he did it. But I just have this feeling like maybe he really doesn't want to do this. Am I being crazy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 5:44pm

Welcome to the board puzzledagain,


You feel what you feel...


Here's a story you might be interested in:


Back Together - Dealing w/Indiscretions

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:14pm

Think about the reasons you broke up- have they changed for the better??

I think that if you both want to get together for all the right reasons then that's great but be aware of these red flags and go slowly. The first red flag is his making this decision overnight and you are on to it- good for you.

How would you feel about seeing a couple's counselor while you two date for a while.

ABove all do what is right for your daughter. You are her role model and think about what she will learn about relationships with her parents uncertain what they want from each other and possible game playing on his part.