x-posted, curiousity killed the cat
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x-posted, curiousity killed the cat
| Tue, 10-16-2007 - 12:45pm |
I did a stupid thing, I was looking through my boyfriend's text messages and found a whole bunch from his previous girlfriend. I know I know, my mistake and now I'm fretting over it. They are from when he and I had been dating about 7 months. He hates text messaging so I know that there were phone-calls too. There are messages regularly for about two whole months, like "thanks for coming," "plans for lunch?" "long drive home," innocent stuff, but he never told me about them. We saw her once when we were out in the middle of all the messaging and he acted like they hadn't seen each other since they broke up. I don't think he would ever cheat or anything, but I feel like he was going behind my back to see her. I can't help but worry about why they all of a sudden started talking and meeting for lunch and whatnot and if he ever blew me off for her, or if when I call him and he doesn't get right back to me he was with her. I know it was stupid of me to snoop, but now I don't know what to do. I obviously can't ask him about it because I found out by essentially sneaking around on him. But I can't just drop it because now I need to know. I can't be with someone who lies or keeps secrets from me, or worse would go back to his ex- while with me. I know by going behind his back I too have broken the trust here. now my question is what do I do about it.

Welcome to the board mallorymes,
How long have the two of you been together?
Welcome to the board mallorymes,
You said you can't be with someone that lies and keeps secrets, but that is exactly what he is doing. You must to have felt that he had something
glitter-graphics.com
::but I feel like I have a right to know if he has a relationship, friendly or otherwise with someone.
::I opened up a huge can of worms here that I wish I had left alone.
Unfortunately, you can't have it both ways.....you have to decide if you are going to talk to him, come clean and put
bump?
any advice? anyone do something stupid like this and get through it?
Everyone who has ever done something like this has gotten through it, one way or another. The variables are how volatile the boyfriend is, whether or not he's actually cheating, and how committed the two people are to saving the relationship. There's no way we can make a prediction for you regarding what his reaction is likely to be.
You have made up your mind about how you want to handle the situation, and your plan sounds good. I hope he will be as rational in hearing that you've made this discovery as you are as you approach telling him.
Good luck, and let us know how everything turns out.