Yes i keep reading his messages....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Yes i keep reading his messages....
4
Sun, 12-02-2007 - 3:17am
He said it was ok when i mentioned one day that i almost looked at his msn history with his friends. I was lying, i had already done it. He says he has nothing to hide so it shouldnt be a big deal but when i read his messages (no i havent fessed up to actually reading them). He knows i hate when he flirts with his co-workers, there's one in peticular. She's crazy and he always calls her a slut and such, but he still flirts with her on there. I've talked to him about this a few times and if i bring it up once more he's gonna snap. He keeps telling me "we've already been over this and its done with", but even to this day he still flirts with her on msn. I know he does it at work too. I'm mega jealous! She's tall blonde and prettier than me. Why does he have to do this when he has me? I know when he goes out to watch UFC with the boys at this one bar, he flirts with the waitresses and such. Maybe thats why im never invited. He says the reason im not invited is because its a guys night out. I understand that but half the time after ufc is over, some of his friends which happen to be girls show up and hang out with them. They all seem to be having a great time in pictures i see posted on his facebook and im feeling left out. Maybe he's embarrassed by the fact that im not all cute and skinny. I mentioned this to him and he said that wasnt true, but i dunno. I know for a fact he's not cheating, but i wonder if he will. All the signs are there. Thankfully i know he probably couldn't cheat cause he can't stay hard, and for some reason this comforts me. This is all insane. I love him like crazy and i know he loves me, but i dont know how to communicate our problems with him. Should i demand he stop flirting with this girl from his work or what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 12-02-2007 - 8:29am

I've read both of your posts, and will reply to both in this thread, so everything isn't spread all over the board.

Think about this: if you KNEW that he would never clean up after himself, and would always have trouble staying hard, would he still be the man you wanted to marry? Ten years, twenty years down the road, you're still doing everything and he's still watching sports on TV. You're raising the kids all by yourself (all those 2 am feedings, those nights sitting up with a kid who's throwing up every few minutes, the hours walking the floor with a baby who won't stop crying, the doctor's and dentist's appointments you have to schedule around anything else you want to do because he's "too busy"), and when you try to talk to him about your concerns, he ignores you. Is this the marriage you're looking for? Because it's the one you're going to get. People don't change, hon. This is who he is.

You also have some major self confidence and self esteem issues (demonstrated clearly by the fact that you're willing to settle for this guy as a life partner). The problem you're facing isn't the tall blonde you think is prettier than you, it's that you feel you're not enough. The only person you can fix in this relationship is you, and whether you stay with him or not, fixing yourself will have lifelong benefits. Please make this your priority, and let us know how things go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 12-02-2007 - 10:54am

If you want a guy who doesn't flirt, then you need another boyfriend.

"we've already been over this and its done with"

That's him saying "I'm not going to change". Take that as you will. Either accept it or leave, but this guy is not going to stop flirting with other women. I think you deserve better than him, because he clearly doesn't care much about your feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sun, 12-02-2007 - 1:00pm

<< I know he does it at work too. I'm mega jealous!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 12-02-2007 - 2:15pm

mycatsnameisziggy,


You've got more problems then him not taking out the trash.


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