You say he's just a friend
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| Fri, 06-04-2004 - 3:03pm |
I have been in a relationship with my man for 4 1/2 yrs. While we've had our ups and downs, and he's definitely had his questionable moments of trustworthiness, as far as I know he's never actually gotten as far as cheating with another woman. However, he has been in situations where he was caught making plans to meet girls off line, or planning to meet up with old girlfriends, etc. He just never actaully got far enough because, as I said, he keeps getting caught beforehand!
Well, after dealing with this for a while, I began to relax in my relationships with my male friends. At the beginning of the relationship (truth be told, the first 3 yrs), I didn't speak to my male friends like I used to out of respect for my man. I quit hanging out with them alone because I thought it would look inappropriate and always said if they wanted to see me, then my man had to be invited too. My guy friends were cool with this because we're only friends and they're pretty good guys. They understood.
But about a year ago, I met a guy through my job who was really nice. We joked all the time at work and really hit it off but we both kept our distance because we were in committed relationships. Well, he ended up quitting and we didn't keep in touch.
Recently, I ran into him and he's no longer attached. Now that he's single, he wants to hang out with me. He's invited me to meet up with him and his friends at the club, invited me out to lunch, etc, but I keep making excuses not to go. He has made it clear to me that he interested and he's also aware that I don't cheat. But my question is, knowing that he's waiting on me before making a move, is it wrong to still hang out with him as friends? Is it wrong to meet up with him even though I know I'm not trying to hook up but he might be? And, in light of the fact that I just found out that my man was hanging out with his friends at some girl's house and lying about it last year, should I even care? Should I just go ahead and enjoy my friendship with this guy since my man doesn't seem to have a problem enjoying his?

1)Do you truly only want him as a friend?
'and really hit it off but we both kept our distance because we were in committed relationships.'
You obviously had feelings for him at one time
2)Are you doing it to get back at your boyfriend for lying to you?
'I just found out that my man was hanging out with his friends at some girl's house and lying about it last year, should I even care?....he has been in situations where he was caught making plans to meet girls off line, or planning to meet up with old girlfriends, etc. '
3)Are you really happy in this relationship or are you looking for a way out?
4) Are you honest with this new guy about being faithful to your boyfriend?
5)Will you be honest with your boyfriend about your new 'friendship'
'Should I just go ahead and enjoy my friendship with this guy since my man doesn't seem to have a problem enjoying his?'
6) Put yourself in your boyfriend's place. Would you be happy if he befriended a girl that obviously want to date him?