Help getting him to come out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2001
Help getting him to come out!
7
Thu, 10-18-2012 - 9:57am

Hi everyone,

I am a 31 year old, openly bisexual woman, in a long-term relationship with a man for the past 3.5 years.  He knows I am bisexual in the past, our relationship has been open, and he has encouraged me to date women.  During the course of my relationship with him, I have had 2 girlfriends, dated others, and all the while, he has been supportive of me.

Until yesterday, I thought our relationship was pretty honest; we are open with one another about everything, including our sexual desires.

I realized last night that this is NOT the case; he is away for business this week and we decided to go onto a chat.  This didn't work out for us because his chat program was not working on his laptop.  However, when I logged on, it was his screen name that was signed in on my computer (we do not live together, but he is often here).  When the welcome screen popped up, I saw names of many people, both men AND women with whom he has chatted.  I admit it bothers me a little that he has cyber sex with other women, but that is another discussion for another time and I am not a hypocrite (if I am having sex with women, he can, too). 

Unfortunately, I let my curiosity get the best of me and I started snooping a little.  I discovered that not only has he been chatting and sharing explicit pics with women, but also men.  LOTS of men.

I am not upset by the idea that he might be bi, I have actually suspected it from time to time, and tried to ask leading questions that might make him admit it, but he is always adamant that he is 100% straight.  What I am upset about is the fact that he is hiding this from me.  I am totally open about my sexuality, and try to make him feel as comfortable as I do.  Why can't he talk to me about this?  And of course, if he can't even tell me he is TALKING to men, what else might he be doing?  I am ok with an open relationship, but it has to be full disclosure.  I am extremely uncomfortable with the thought of "what could be."

Any objective thoughts or advice about this?  My head is spinning and I am afraid my imagination is going to get the best of me.

Thanks,
K

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2014
Fri, 02-14-2014 - 2:39pm
These videos records near death experience of people that have visited Heaven and Hell and came back and tell the story. The important thing to note is they all had very same description about Heaven and / or Hell. Please see them all.
 Another interesting website that has lot of videos about Heaven and Hell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2012
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 12:17pm

Krelle81,

Awesome! Thanks for letting me know, it is always a great way to start my morning with happy posts :D

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2001
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 10:43pm
Thanks, Thia. That helped...it was a browser issue. All worked out!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2001
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 10:42pm
Thanks, Burg. That has been an option rolling in the back of my mind. Bringing it to fruition might take a while though (and some hard work).
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2012
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 9:42pm

Krelle81,

I have sent the info you posted on to the techs. Can you check out over here and see if it answers any of your issues? http://www.ivillage.com/forums/ivillage-women/around-ivillage/ivillage-h...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2001
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 5:35pm
I am having a really hard time navigating around here. I see a reply, but can't FIND it to read!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2011
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 11:43am

Add another bi-male into the bedroom...see what he thinks