hands or no hands?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2009
hands or no hands?
25
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 7:15pm

I have been widowed for several years (am in my mid-40s), and am currently starting a new relationship with a man that is a couple of years older than me. This relationship

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2007
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 11:08am

I'm a guy and I think that oral sex is better when hands are included.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 11:27am

Welcome to the Oral board cdngirl2009 :)


Congratulations on starting your new relationship :)


First off I'm probably not going to be any or much help :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 3:17pm

As far as I'm concerned, a little hand action is ok, but I can do that myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2009
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 7:58pm

Thank you for the warm welcome to the board! :-)


dr. revel: No, I'm not offended at all by your suggestion to study some erotic videos for technique, in fact, I have purchased and downloaded a few videos and a few ebooks. I have even purchased a fairly realistic type dildo to practice on, since I've been, shall we say, "out of the loop" for a while.....and though I don't want my hopefully-soon-to-be-lover getting the impression that I've "been around the block

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 9:14am

Yes, that method the wife uses on me from time to time is very, very good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Mon, 06-15-2009 - 12:10pm
Hands are fine. I think it feels very good. In fact, I've often hand a woman somewhat go between handjob and oral in the performance or giving oral. I'm sure she is taking a break from oral and then stroking me. I don't complain at all, feels great. I think you should lick him in all the right places and he will enjoy it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
Mon, 06-15-2009 - 12:45pm

There are many ways to make oral enjoyable for a man. I think you have a very good handle on different techniques and you shouldn't worry yourself too much.


Guys who start complaining about what they are receiving don't deserve to receive too much. Especially when we are doing our best to please them anyway.


Communication is the most important thing. Try and do what you can, and talk about it along the way with your man. Hopefully you can find a common ground where both of you can be happy and satisfied.


Considering there are a number of women who won't even try oral - the fact that you are willing to do so should count for something.


Other oral techniques you can try including licking and stroking the shaft, sucking on his balls, and tonguing his head. I think these should provide some extra oompf.


Good luck and let us know how everything goes.


Hugs,


Amber

Hugs from Amber


goofy grin by you.

Hugs from Amber

goofy grin by you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 06-15-2009 - 4:31pm
I agree with amber angel, you are entusiastic and eager.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 06-15-2009 - 4:50pm

Hey cdngirl

I've worked out lots of things with my wife that feel amazing with and without hands that don't involve taking me deep (which I love too). I particularly love feeling the ridge along the head popping into and pulling out of her tight lips, slowly at first then faster, which has me barely in her mouth at all and moving back and forth less than half an inch. That drives me wild, plus we can look into each others eyes (when she takes me deep there is not much to see).

Other times she will take just the tip of me into her mouth and use her hands gently on my inner thighs, buns, and testicles - the best spot for me is the base of my sack, where the skin there connects with my crotch - YOWZA.

Finally, don't underestimate the multitude of positions you can try for BJs. Using hands on me feels completely different when I am on my back vs. on my hands & knees vs. sitting in a chair vs. standing vs. standing with one leg propped up on the bed, etc. etc. etc. All different sensations, not to mention the visuals.

I know you want to have ideas ready for the first couple sessions, but opening up a conversation about what he likes, perhaps while you are down there trying his suggestions, is pretty hot for a guy. Luckily you don't seem like someone who will have a problem talking with him about that. We want women to be fascinated by our d**ks, so playing, exploring, and communicating like that is a huge turn-on to us.

Have fun!

Jake

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2009
Mon, 06-15-2009 - 11:54pm
I wouldn't worry. Different guys like different things. I always use my hand to play with the balls and never had a guy complain. When I was younger I also thought that giving a blowjob meant only using your mouth. and I still feel that the mouth should be doing most of the work. but I never had a guy complain for using hands to assist. also if you decide to use your mouth only, you don't have to put the entire penis in. If your lips and tongue are in contact with the sensitive area below the head, that's what matters. I'm pretty sure you'll do fine and make the guy very happy :)

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