HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2009
HELP!
24
Sun, 07-19-2009 - 6:31pm

Okay, my boyfriend and I have a great sexual relationship but when it comes to Oral I'm rubbish.

He is brilliant at it; there's nothing wrong with what he does but I cant seem to return the favour. For instance, the last time I performed oral sex on him, his erection died. I've read countless amounts of tips and tricks and tried a few of them but nothing works. We always use our hands first to stimulate each other but he has to fondle me to get his erection back.

I feel useless. The only way he climaxes is through sex. After sex I feel rubbish because I dont feel like I'm good enough for him. He is my first time and I'm his fourth so I'm constantly comparing myself. It's getting me really down.

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

Love Sophhh xo

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: sophhh
Sun, 07-19-2009 - 7:48pm

Have you asked him how he wants it done, if he wants you to do something different?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2009
In reply to: sophhh
Sun, 07-19-2009 - 8:51pm

Yeah I've asked him. He just tells me to use my imagination. To be honest, I think I just bore him. I do the same things with my hands and mouth. I try changing it but nothing good comes out of it. He's never sort of said 'wow that was amazing' or anything. He once said he needed sex for relief.

He loves me for me and not the sex but I still want to be the best he's had :

Love Sophhh xo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
In reply to: sophhh
Mon, 07-20-2009 - 3:28pm

Welcome to the Oral Board sophhh :)


You both need to openly communicate and be very honest when it comes to both your sexual wants, needs and desires.

Avatar for cyrilpatrick
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
In reply to: sophhh
Tue, 07-21-2009 - 4:56pm

Sounds to me like there needs to be a couple of major changes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
In reply to: sophhh
Wed, 07-22-2009 - 10:30am
Welcome to the Oral Board cyrilpatrick :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: sophhh
Wed, 07-22-2009 - 7:28pm
Yeah I've asked him. He just tells me to use my imagination.


I'd tell him that I've tried using my imagination but it's difficult to imagine wild variations to something that you've only just started doing - so just tell me what you like!
If he still doesn't give you some ideas, do some more reading and start asking twenty questions. He's got to realise that a person can't learn to do something well without having some feedback! Am I gripping firmly enough at the moment? Faster? Slower? Should I play with your balls? etc etc

He's asked me to touch his nipples before


Not weird at all. Plenty of guys like nipple play and men's nipples are really sensitive too. The reason that more guys don't talk about it is because nipple play seems like something only women should enjoy. And that's the weird thing - that we all get so freaked out just because men's nipples are sensitive too. After-all, why wouldn't they be sensitive?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2009
In reply to: sophhh
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 6:49am

Thank you all for your advice.

Yesterday he asked if we could perform Oral sex on each other at the same time. We've done it before so I was happy to do it again.

He was on top . It was amazing and he didn't lose his erection at all. To me, it feels like he needs to be doing something to me for him to enjoy it.

I remember last month I was giving him oral sex and he loved every minute of it. He even stopped me before he climaxed because he wanted 'to be a gent and not make a mess'. We then had sex for him to climax. I think he's nervous of climaxing in my mouth. I said it's not a problem. I'll try anything once and he knows that. How can I persuade him to just let me take it?

I'm staying at his this weekend and I think we're going to do more oral than normal. He's perfect at it but I want him to climax so I know I'm doing it right. He always does through sex...but I think most men would to be honest .

He said the sex and oral was great last night but to be honest, he's not the sort to say otherwise.

Love Sophhh xo
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2001
In reply to: sophhh
Thu, 07-23-2009 - 8:29pm
Tell him to lay back and relax and you'll take care of everything.
Osusguy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2009
In reply to: sophhh
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 8:15am

You could always surprise him and tie his arms/wrists to the bed and then give him oral/69 until you and HIM both finish..

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2009
In reply to: sophhh
Fri, 07-24-2009 - 8:23am

I wouldnt mind doing that...I'm sure he'd love me being in control. But he's not into the whole tying up and being restrained. He's more into trying as many positions as possible etc.

Thanks for the advice though. I think I'm going to tell him to just relax and let nature take its course.

Love Sophhh xo

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