Need a bit of help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2005
Need a bit of help
6
Fri, 08-08-2008 - 11:51pm

Hi all,


I need a bit of advice re: a guy I'm seeing...we haven't actually had sex yet, just been doing oral for now. Well, I say oral, but he hasn't actually given me that much oral yet - what he's mostly been giving me is hand jobs, using his fingers to stimulate me.


I have never once had a problem having an orgasm on my own, when I'm in private and giving it to myself. But I cannot seem to get there with him! Sometimes he is not always in the right spot or he's doing it a little too hard so I do try to tell him, but I think the biggest problem for me is that I can't seem to get that pleasure from stimulation alone. When I'm by myself, I always, always use a fantasy - I wouldn't be able to get hot without one.


So when I'm with him, I can't zone out and concentrate on getting into a fantasy, nor do I want to completely do that. I want to stay in the moment with him, but it's like I'm just not getting there without one. Has this ever happened to anyone? Granted, we've only done it a few times before and so there's lots of time to "practice", but I'm not sure how to start feeling more pleasurable from the stimulation alone. Thanks!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 08-09-2008 - 10:01am

If you want more oral let him know you want more oral.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sat, 08-09-2008 - 5:33pm
You can take his hand and physically use his hand to bring you to orgasm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2005
Sun, 08-10-2008 - 12:22am
I have guided him before...I think the main problem for me is the fantasy thing. I tried it myself today, just stimulating without the use of a fantasy and I couldn't get into that pleasurable state. I don't know, I guess we'll figure it out! I'm sure that the actual use of oral would help, so I'll have to start asking for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Mon, 08-11-2008 - 1:13pm

Welcome Luvskating to the Oral Board :)


You've been given some great advice and I hope that you'll be able to enjoy yourself if and when you partner starts to give you oral.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2005
Tue, 08-12-2008 - 12:51am

Hi Scooter,


Thanks for the message:) I just wanted to report that today I did some solo experimenting using him in the fantasy - I found that as long as I was talking sexy thoughts out loud and picturing him there, it totally got me there:) So now I know, I should be able to be present with him (without needing the outside fantasy) just as long as I can relax enough, let go and start talking a bit! I have to say that I'm shy and a little self-conscious since I have not had much experience yet, so it's a bit difficult to try. But practicing on my own out loud was probably a good start!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Tue, 08-12-2008 - 10:00am

You're more then welcome :)


That is the secret, relax, let go and enjoy.