New BF enjoys BJs but I don't, help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
New BF enjoys BJs but I don't, help
2
Sun, 09-06-2009 - 11:07pm

My new boyfriend really enjoys receiving oral sex but I don't. I haven't dated another guy who really was very interested in oral to completion. Most enjoyed just a little play but then wanted to finish with sex. So I can't say I am very good at it.

I have done it for him a few times but I just get tired before he finishes. We talked about it a bit last night and I admitted that I really don't like it. He was disappointed but I did tell him I am willing to try and learn.

I have read a few other threads here about this topic and I know most people ask why the poster doesn't like it. I guess my issues are that it takes so long and my mouth or arm gets sore so it just becomes painful. I feel like I have to keep going since I don't want to leave him hanging since that is cruel.

I enjoy seeing guys get pleasure but it usually comes through intercourse.

Thanks for your help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Tue, 09-08-2009 - 4:35pm

Welcome to the Oral Board webjrl02 :)


Try giving him oral in a position that you are most comfortable in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2006
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 12:59pm

Thank god for friends. A girlfriend told me in great detail how to give a blowjob and then she kept testing me and asking me how it went. So now I shall tell you what works for my boyfriends (they're both over 40, however).

Buy mineral oil at the pharmacy section of your supermarket. It's cheap and very very slippery, though greasy (so have a towel under him when you do it). You are going to use the mineral oil later, after a few minutes, when your boyfriend's penis is good and hard. You are also going to put and then insert one or two of your oily fingers on and into his anus and rectum. You might tell him in advance so he can be clean for this activity.

First, get nude or wear some sexy stuff. Don't be prudish. Men first of all enjoy looking at a lovely nude woman; second, they enjoy knowing you are excited, too. While doing him, masturbate yourself and play with your breasts and nipples; and let him see how "hospitably open" you are. Myself, I enjoy talking, too, telling him how much I'll enjoy having his "big red thang" inside of me when the time comes... "to do the act of darkness" with him.

Now, get him to lie back nude, head on a pillow (you want him to watch you, you want to watch his eyes, too). Have the mineral oil handy with some paper towels and tissues. Put his legs apart and sit cross-legged between them or kneel between his legs. He can see your breasts, perhaps your private places. Above all, SMILE and DON'T STOP SMILING. Let him see you enjoy doing this!

Hold his penis firmly. It's sensitive. Treat it more or less like you do your clitoris. Look at it. The part of the head facing his body is the most sensitive part. The little ridge closest to his body under the head of the penis is the bestest part you can love. Hold his penis and flick your thumb repeatedly along this ridge and back and forth. It will titillate him. Kiss it. Lick this. You can use your index finger too. Go slowly. Put his entire penis inside your mouth if you can. Suck on his balls. Lick the length of it. Get him erect but you do not want him to come so DO NOT move your hands up and down fast along the shaft. GO SLOWLY. Move your hand slowly up and down the length of it, very slowly, admiring it, holding mainly the tip of the penis. That's the sensitive part. Don't forget your duty to masturbate yourself.

Also you can twist the tip of his penis; remember to flick the tip with your fingers. This is intuitive stuff. Just remember not to rush and hurry.

Now, when he's hard and you're hot, take the bottle of mineral oil and put a little on your palm and put it on his penis. LUBRICANT IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING WHEN DOING HIM BEFORE. Don't worry, you can still suck on him with mineral oil if you want.

But now masturbate him slowly, slowly. Don't forget the tip and head of the penis. Play with the urethral opening. Suck on his balls. If you can and wish to and he's clean, lick his anus. He'll be so turned on. Most women grip then rub up and down fast. What a mistake. Do it slowly, lovingly. Vary the speed a little. Don't forget if you can to suck on him, both his Prince and his balls, too. Another thing you can do is to pull the skin on the scrotum. Don't be afraid. Treat the skin there like you might your labia. Stretch the skin widely if you want, but treat his testicles very very very gently when sucking.

Now, circle around his anus with an oily finger while still masturbating him with the other. Go slowly. Slowly get a finger in there. He will love this. His "g-spot" is in there. It's called the prostate gland. DON'T PULL OUT ALL THE WAY YOUR FINGER: doing this will bring air into the rectum and make noises. However, do slide your fingers in and out inside the rectum. Find the prostate. When he's ready to come (he'll come for you, really!), start working with this prostate. When he shoots, have your mouth over the penis and swallow his come while you're masturbating yourself to orgasm, too. He'll think you are the finest most beautiful gorgeous woman in the world and that you can do no wrong.

I cannot believe how well my boyfriends behave now. The better your treat their "Prince" (that weenie of theirs) the better they'll feel about you.

Sieglinde Cunegonde
Cunégonde