no oral sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2008
no oral sex
1
Sat, 09-20-2008 - 4:15pm
We have been happily married (with children) for many years, but I don't get any oral sex from my spouse. Getting frustrated, although I know it's not the most important thing. It would be nice to get a blowjob from time to time though. What can I do?
Thanks,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: insecret
Sat, 09-20-2008 - 5:23pm

Have you talked to your wife about it, let her know that you want it and that you're frustrated not getting it?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
In reply to: insecret
Sat, 09-20-2008 - 6:24pm

I'm in the opposite camp. I could care less if I ever got a BJ. She has never given me one but she has also stopped me from giving to me. Sex has been good lately so I just tried to go down. She grabbed me So HARD and said,"if you really want to turn me off do that!"So, I guess I won't be "doing that" any more :( I miss it sooooo much. Think about it all the time. I hate not being able to do it. I read about all these women with guys that won't do it and here I am with one of the few that hates it! Why me?


It's the whole idea of me being down there that grosses her out. I've tried talking, talking to the therapist, tried in the shower, etc. NOTHING. I miss it so much that I would give up everything else. I mean everything kissing, foreplay IC just to do that.


IB

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: insecret
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 8:50am

You said she stopped you from giving, did she at one time enjoy receiving oral or was it something she just went along with?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
In reply to: insecret
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 12:14pm
Welcome to the club, I give here oral and enjoy it. I have asked, hinted and made a joke of it and many years still she will not give any oral to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
In reply to: insecret
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 2:07pm

I think she just went along. We were at the therapist one day, She has a sub -specialty in human sexuality, she asked my wife if I knew what I was doing. That sometimes men don't know what to do.She started to laugh. She said , "he knows more than I know and I'm the woman." My wife is just (to use a 60's phrase) so hung up on sex being "gross" and "dirty". To give you an example a friend of hers sent her a funny text message with a field of penises. She thought is was disgusting. I thought it was funny!


I'm going to get a book called Sexual Detox. I heard it was good. I don't know if anyone has used it but I thought I would give it a try. If it doesn't work No big deal

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
In reply to: insecret
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 2:43am

SOOO glad to hear things are better IB!!! (I remember you from ML also)


to the OP...communication is key for DH and myself.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2008
In reply to: insecret
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 12:02am

Many moons ago I wouldn't let any man go down on me... I was so consience about odors, looks, etc that it made it so un-enjoyable for me.

Redhead
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
In reply to: insecret
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 12:41pm
Welcome Insecret to the Oral Board :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
In reply to: insecret
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 5:09pm
I really enjoy going down on DW it is such a trun on for me. For those times she just wants a quickie if she would only let me give a little oral then I would be ready. She is the same way about now want me to see or sometime not to go down on her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2008
In reply to: insecret
Sat, 10-25-2008 - 12:29pm

Thank you for your message. We haven't got to that point yet, hopefully one day.
Take care,

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