Oral instead of intercourse?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2005
Oral instead of intercourse?
15
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:39pm

When my husband and I have sex it often (50% of the time) ends with me going down on him instead of the more "normal" intercourse. I don't mind in the slightest, I love giving him head, he loves getting it, and if he's having a great time I don't see why I should stop, take my panties off and hop on for him to finish. It really makes no difference to me -- I don't come that way or even come anywhere near it, so I don't feel like I'm missing out when he comes orally instead of vaginally.

Last night he said afterwards, "I feel bad because it seems like when we have sex it's just about my orgasm." I didn't know how he wanted me to reply! He knows perfectly well I don't come during sex, I don't fake it either, but still he seems to think if we "finish" with intercourse instead of oral it's more mutual. To me there's no difference!! We've been married 17 years, it's not like this is new information.

Is it just a typical male thing to think it doesn't "count" unless he sticks it in me? Are there many other husbands out there complaining about recieving more blowjobs than they want??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 4:05pm

Dh and I both love intercourse.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 4:32pm
My wife and I have been married 25 years, We have sex maybe once a month. We have never discussed it, but orgasms for her are seldom. More often i just suck her nipples (which she loves) and she gives me a BJ. I cum so I am happy, she doesnt seem to mind that. The funny thing is that I love to eat her, but she doesnt like it! You didnt mention anything about your husband going down on you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 6:08pm
Yeah it doesn't make too much difference to me, bf almost will want to finish with a bj or facial or combo thereof. I usually have an orgasm from i/c, then he pulls out and we get to work on him. I don't know why he prefers it, but I asked him once if he would rather have sex or a really serious bj, and he said without hesitating, the latter for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2005
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:54pm

A what kind of doctor?

He doesn't go down on me. If you asked him, he's say it's because I won't let him, but the few times he has (two minutes of eyes-tightly-shut dabbing) made it pretty clear he was grossed out by it. It's been a long time, but I remember what it felt like when a man really wanted to, so while I masturbate to those memories now the real thing is just a fantasy for me. He loves BJs though, I don't think there are any men who don't!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:46pm
You said "a what kind of doctor". what did that mean?
Sometimes the memories of past sex are better than the real thing. Can I ask, do you use any toys?
My name is Danny, i'm in Arizona.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2005
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 9:43am
He loves toys -- not all the time, but now and then he'll leave something on the pillow he wants me to use on him. He likes nipple clamps, vibrating and non; rings; small anal toys, beads or plugs; and most of all he likes to be tied up and blindfolded, usually spreadeagled on the bed but I've also tied him to a chair and to a door, that was a fun one. He won't really tell me what he's fantasizing about during these times, too bad! He loves to be teased over and over to make his orgasm really explosive. He also likes to be spanked, I don't really like doing that (makes me feel like his mother, not exactly sexy!) but I'll indulge him sometimes. How about you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 12:06pm
I was asking if YOU used any toys??? It might be my imagination, but it seems like your sex life is very one-sided, you pleasing him only. As for me, I dont need anything except a woman to turn me on. I am very oral, just give me a pair of nipples to suck on and im rock hard!! I have two questions, whats your name and age?
Danny
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 1:01pm

"Is it just a typical male thing to think it doesn't "count" unless he sticks it in me? Are there many other husbands out there complaining about recieving more blowjobs than they want??"

I think that it's a normal responce when one is guilty of enjoying their partner too much, as well as in a one-sided selfish manner without reciprocating the pleasure. And, he is "sticking it in you", just in your mouth instead of your vagina. Why don't you take this as an oportunity to try speaking to your DH about ways in which you'd like to pleasured for a change?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2005
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 12:46pm

Let's see Danny --

You said "...orgasms for her are seldom. More often i just suck her nipples (which she loves) and she gives me a BJ. I cum so I am happy, she doesnt seem to mind that." Your sex life sounds pretty much one-sided too, and you don't sound any more concerned over that than my husband is.

As for your toy question, I use a vibrator now and then by myself, but usually my hand works better for me. (I have a certain finger I nicknamed "Steve")

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 2:00pm

<<husband is>>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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