Oral, you either love it or hate it??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Oral, you either love it or hate it??
15
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 10:02am

Ok folks, I have not posted here in a long time-years ago I think it was but I have an observation and I wonder if you all agree. When it comes to GIVING oral sex primarily, I think you either love it or you hate it. To me it seems there is little in between. This just based on my experience, articles I have read, guys I know that talk about it-yes, some guys do talk about sex.


To a person that loves to give oral sex, they seem to enjoy it for two reasons-first of all they enjoy bringing pleasure to their partner. Secondly, it turns them on. I know for me, I love being able to bring my wife incredible pleasure and 99% of the time a strong orgasm via oral. But, the act also turns me on-I love the smell, taste and just knowing where I am-it is just an incredible turn on for me, in fact there have been times when I have been giving my wife oral that I have been so turned on that I cum on while she is moaning-it just drives me wild.


On the other hand, my wife HATES to give oral to me. Hate is probably a strong word but I can't really think otherwise because it has been I believe close or over 2 years since she last gave me a bj. And a bj

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 11:19am

Thank you pappyred for sharing with us.


I agree with you, if your wife has no interest in giving oral she won't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 12:05pm

Thanks for your reply. I can tell you, my wife is very niave when it comes to sex to be honest. I think because she doesn't enjoy giving, she doesn't understand why I do so much. I will have to say though, the last time I was giving her oral, she actually used her hands to pull her lips apart-that was VERY hot to me because she thinks masturbation is gross/dirty and says she has never done it herself. Also, when I am manually stimulating her sometimes she will put her hand on top of mine and I will sometimes try to get her to touch herself-that turns me on as well. She usually refuses to touch herself but sometimes will allow a finger to touch her lips. I just find that incredibly sexy and exciting when she allows herself to let her inhibitions to go. Back when she was giving me oral, I would praise her SOOO much, perhaps I over did it, I don't know. I just wanted her to know how much I enjoyed it and how great it felt to me.


I have to admit, I am very frustrated by her not giving me oral. I know I can't pressure or force her to do it, I don't want to ask her to do it. But damn it, I just wish one of these days she would just decide to do it again. Even though I have never received that much, I still miss it and want that experience. I have learned to live without it obviously but can't help feel a little pissed that she will not return the favor. We were watching a movie a few weeks back, I LOVE YOU, MAN and this topic came up in the movie. I actually laughed out loud during the scene because the best man was telling the bride to return the favor, because the groom was saying that his wife to be never gave him oral. I could so relate to that, it was just funny to me. My wife had no reaction to it at all. It just feels like she has moved on and has no interest in going back. Like, yeah, I used to do that for him but I never liked doing it so I am not going to do it again. I just believe there

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 12:28pm

You're welcome :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 1:04pm

I agree with all you have said, I should have raised serious questions earlier but just didn't want to rock the boat. She has always had a much smaller sex drive than me, so it is what it is. Before we married, we didn't live together instead still lived at home. When we got the chance, meaning we knew our parents were not going to be around, we made out hot and heavy and we did have oral sex-not a ton but considering we didn't get the opportunity, I just ASSumed once married we would be at it like rabbits-never happened that way. Course she has so many positive traits about her, we are great parents together etc but in the sex department, just never really never matched up

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 1:16pm

It's unfortunate that you didn't know prior to marrying her that she had such a small sex drive compared to yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 1:47pm

I hear you man, it's a shame that she baited you and let you assume that there would be plenty in your married future together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 1:56pm
We do have sex when the kids are home, just 1x a week on average. She complains of being tired quite often and over the years when I have tried to initiate, she has used that quite a bit or just not tonight. So, I have backed off and let her initiate, and she is usually good for 1x a week, sometimes less. Right now it has been almost 2 weeks but she started a new job and is just so busy/stressed and tired, just no way anything can happen. Her period is due any day so I suspect I will go 3 weeks without. I know I need to initiate more often but after years of being shot down, basically you are at the mercy of the person that wants it less. She is nearing 40 and so I don't have a great amount of hope things will improve-never say never
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 2:01pm

You know, she didn't bait and switch me like a lot of my buddies complain about. Her sex drive now is pretty much exactly as it was when we got married. I ASSumed it would he higher just based on the fact we would have more time alone together.


As for withholding oral on her, it would not bother her at all. I can and will often times get her off manually if she doesn't let me give her oral, she does not get off typically by intercourse. She NEVER asks me to give her oral, I just head south and if she doesn't stop me, I keep going. I would love for her to ask for it to be honest-I would find that very erotic. Course she will not say anything dirty before or during the act and gets pissed at me for saying the F word or the P word when having sex.


Point is, I enjoy giving oral probably as much or maybe even more than she enjoys receiving. So if I stop giving it is as much me giving up something as her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 4:42pm

All I can say is good luck and I do hope it changes for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 5:22pm

You've said that she enjoyed your time together when you were out of town, maybe you can try to duplicate something similar at home.

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