Wife doesn't perform

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2008
Wife doesn't perform
10
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 3:31pm

My wife doesn't perform oral sex on me any more and it is frustrating because she expects me to perform for her. One night after a few drinks I revealled this to a close friend of ours and she offered to perform on me stating she loves it, she then went on to describe her technique and I'd have to say it got the blood flowing. She asked me if I'd like to come over solo while my wife is at work and I'm thinking I'd like to. I am just split I don't want to cheat on my wife but man I could use some oral gratification. What do y'all think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 5:43pm

Have you been listening to Bill Clinton?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 6:13pm

My wife doesn't perform oral sex on me any more and it is frustrating because she expects me to perform for her.

And when you ask about it? You've had a conversation right?

You've told her, it's time she sucked it again, if she wants you to eat it. Fair is fair.

Don't back down, confidence is sexy. Have a few drinks if that's what it takes & have that conversation.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 9:52pm

Ah, yes, the Odyssey.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 12:34am
Is she flat out refusing to go down on you, or are you just not using your words to tell her what you want?
Definitely talk to your wife about your needs, and let her know that it is only fair for her to return the favor.

As for the other woman, she isn't looking out for you, she's looking to mess up your relationship, and have some entertainment. She isn't honorable, and for you to be considering this is so disrespectful to your wife and your marriage.

If your actions follow the direction your thoughts are going, you will prove yourself to be a man with no character, someone who is selfish, without honor, and does not keep their promises(or did you not take vows when you married your wife?). Even if your wife never finds out (which is unlikely - the truth always reveals itself), YOU will always know what you did, and what it made you into - a cheater.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 3:31pm

Well,if you don't want to cheat then you don't go over there. Have you talked to your wife about why she doesn't like it anymore?



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2006
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 10:41am

Someone asked "Have you been listening to Bill Clinton," but I think Newt Gingrich is the closer comparison. He left his wife for a new one when his wife had cancer and was in the hospital. Regard your wife as ill with cancer--for not giving oral to your man is like that, a case of serious illness. Be very patient and loving and persuade her to do it with you. It may take a long time but eventually she will because she will find her fears, laziness, disgust or whatever prevents her from wishing to please you is a poor substitute for the enjoyment she'll get from doing it. Being harsh with her is a terrible thing.

Cunégonde
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2008
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 9:14am

Well, I'm in the same situation. Never had oral sex, and my SO won't do it (all the rest is fine). I wish I had a friend who said she would perform on me. Just do it! And let me know how it felt. I've been looking for someone to give me oral sex, but haven't found anyone, or just chickened out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 05-07-2011 - 12:38pm

Why are you telling your "close friend" what you should be telling your wife.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 1:16am

Personally, I would consider it cheating!!

Why are you even discussing intimate personal detail with your wife's friend?...You're obviously setting the scene of unsatisfied husband and putting it out there for any takers just from that conversation!

Regardless of whether your wife does it or not (that's a separate issue), I don't think she would accept you doing it with someone else - especially not her friend.

Weigh up your options -  is a couple of oral pleasures worth your marriage or family?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 12:20pm
I realize this is a 2011 post, but I feel like I need to post to this so others that read it will know how I feel.
What would you feel like if you didn't do oral on her and she told a man friend this. He says, as I do, "I love to go down on a woman" and describes his technique. Which I can in graphic detail. Would you like her cheating on you with another man? I don't think so. Cheating is cheating! Talk to her and tell her what you want. Try taking a shower together, it might be a phobia about germs or cleanliness, ask her to try it. She may be concerned about you coming in her mouth or the size or length. Talk, talk, talk. Communication is key. If she won't and you don't want to discuss a threesome, forget about either the other woman or your present arrangement. She will find out you cheated and it will most likely be over between you. Don't cheat unless you want to face the consequences.