He can't orgasm......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2009
He can't orgasm......
13
Sat, 10-16-2010 - 12:41pm

Hello! Ok, I'm going to keep this brief because I know the long posts can be boring..... Basically, I started a friends with benefits situation with a guy I've been friends with since school, we always had a great connection but never acted on it until this summer. It has gone great, we keep it very casual, usually meeting up every two/three weeks as he works away and I work full time. This suits us both, we keep contact to a minimum, only when we're arranging to meet up and so on. He's a great guy and is very very sexy. The sex the very first time between us was at his birthday party, it was great, but we were both drunk so I presumed it would only be a once off, but later during the summer we met up, spent some time together, had fantastic sex and carried on from there.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2010
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 12:51am

The more I read your post, i.e., the further along it that I read, the more I wonder if your relationship with this guy is no longer a fwb relationship for you.

Half of hockey is mental, the other half is being mental.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2009
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 8:10am
Wow.....you are good! ;) I find on some levels that I want more from him because we get along so well, enjoy each others company and so on but part of me thinks this is just because we were always good friends, but I got out of a bad relationship nearly a year ago so I'm very guarded as to who I let myself get close to, I think that's why I've kept it on a fwb arrangement. I get the feeling that he doesn't want anything more then fwb. He's only in his mid 20's so I don't think the age thing is a factor.
Thank you for your advice, it means alot! :) x
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 10:44am

Have you tried talking to him and asking him what's going on? Maybe he's afraid you might get pregnant, maybe he's getting the vibe that you're more attracted to him than he is to you. He just wants to keep it a FWB relationship, that could explain the moving right to the bedroom.

Is that what you want? If not, then you really need to talk to him. Maybe it's time to move on and find someone who will give you all that you want.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 5:16pm

Even if you're just "friends", one of the benefits of friendship is the ability to talk with each other.

Sumnyte on A O L.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2009
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 1:20pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2009
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 1:21pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2009
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 2:07pm
Wow that's a brilliant idea, we hooked up last night, we were both fairly drunk and had sex. He finished himself off infront of me because he couldn't reach orgasm. I don't think he's sexually inexperienced as he's always been single, so I'm not sure. I think he may finds it hard to orgasm through intercourse and can't relax enough to let go, or he can't orgasm with a condom on, not sure, more research needs to be done! ;) lol! He seems to be emotionally detatched to be honest and I find sex also needs to be about closeness so I'm thinking this could be a factor...but who knows...he's a guy! Lol! :) Thanks so much for the advice, appreciate it so much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 1:34am

It sounds to me like its purely physical ... if he's used to mastrubating, no vagina alone is going to give him the same stimulation as his own hand. Ive learned to acccept this from my bf of more than a year & 1/2. We have an incedible relationship & Im the most open sexually Ive ever been with anyone. He has helped bring that out in me b/c hes so open & easy going about stuff. He does mastrubate at LEAST 1X a day, if not more. He is 49, God Bless him, lol. BUT, he knows if he's going to see me, usually 1-2X a week, he will "hold off". Id say about 1/2 the time he can come inside me, during intercourse. But the other times, he just pulls out & does it himself ... actually, usually he grabs my vibrator for ME, so we can do it together, & then he finishes himself off. Its fine. I know that no one can give ME an orgasm like ME, & Im sure its the same for most guys. He doesnt usually come at all from oral, & he will with my hand, but usually I need direction from him (faster, slower, harder, softer, over the top, etc). & Im fine with that. WHATEVER WORKS!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2009
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 5:05pm

That's very true, I'm starting to think it is mainly physical, afterall, he has been single all the years I have known him so I'm thinking he has become reliant on masterbation, I tried to bring him to orgasm with my hands and mouth, while there was alot of deep breathing and the odd (and I mean 'odd' moan, this guy is not into moaning! lol!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 6:49pm

Hi lg-ri!

Sumnyte on A O L.

Pages