Orgasms for someone waiting for marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2011
Orgasms for someone waiting for marriage.
16
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 9:42am

I'm a 23 year old woman and I'm engaged to an amazing man. We're waiting to have penetrative sex until we get married, however, we do have oral sex and we do use our hands on each other. The problem is that after four years of this he is finally getting bored with that. We're getting married soon, but it's ridiculously frustrating becasue he hardly touches or kisses me at all any more, and I'm worried that this physical distance will carry into our wedding night, which I definitely don't want. Outside of the physical aspect of our relationship, we are very close and our friendship is unbeatable, but I just want his physical attention again.

We've talked about it and he says that he doesn't want to start anything because he doesn't want me to get excited because he doesn't want to spend the 45-60 minutes it usually takes to get me off.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 3:22pm

I masturbate enough to know that I can have an orgasm quickly, I just have a really difficult time having one when my partner is stimulating me.

Figure out what is different?

What is different from when you do it? Focusing harder, more direct or less direct stimulation?

Than when he does it? mind wandering, worried about looking dumb?

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 1:31pm

From a guy's perspective--

You want your cake and eat it too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 3:25pm

Hi. When are you getting married?

I can understand your wanting to wait until you get married, but at the same time to me, that would be no kind of sexual contact.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 5:27pm

We seem to agree on quite a few of these opinions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 8:43am

We seem to agree on quite a few of these opinions.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 10:43am

I can't do that alone. You have to want to be..... :smileywink:

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 2:06pm

lol.... Me, personally, I am one of those people that can give advice, some good and some not so good, but can't follow it myself.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 3:57pm

I am one of those people that can give advice, some good and some not so good, but can't follow it myself.

Doesn't that put you in the same group as virtually the entire population?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2009
Wed, 04-13-2011 - 5:48pm

It sounds like you have made your problem (it takes me an hour to cum) into his problem. A man in his twenties (my bf and I are both 25) can go three or four rounds with 20 minutes or so of

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 04-14-2011 - 10:58am

Hi there and welcome.

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