Trouble ejaculating

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2012
Trouble ejaculating
10
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 5:56am
Has anyone ever had trouble with ejaculation? I don't mean occasionally, I mean like all the time. I've suffered with this for as long as I can remember and I'm 27 now. I can cum when I'm masturbating but if I'm having sex, a blow job or even a hand job I just can't cum. I get really close but nothing happens. I'm totally straight but I even slept with a guy once cos I thought I might be subconsciously gay, stupid right? There's now this girl I've met who's just the most amazing creature and I don't wanna disappoint her you know? Please help, any advice at all would be great
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2007
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 9:21am

Are you taking any medications, especially antidepressants or antihistamines?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2012
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 7:19am
I'm epileptic and I've been taking the meds since I was 18 but I was sexually active from 14 and still had the problem then. I have a really high sex drive in my opinion and while certain positions feel better than others I've still never been able to finish. I wish there was an answer to this, it's really getting me down
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2012
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 7:21am
Also I forgot to say that I've already had blood tests to check my hormones and they came back normal, so it can't be that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 10:09am

Hormones have little or nothing to do with ejaculation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2012
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 6:17pm
Ok thank you, you've given me a lot of options. I'll let you know how things work out.

Thank you again, you've been a great help xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 03-20-2012 - 11:42am

Just wanted to let you know, you're not alone in this. My SO is the same way and says he always has diffuctlies (he is 50 now).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2007
Sun, 03-25-2012 - 12:21pm

I'm not so sure about the comment about hormones not having anything to do with ejaculation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2000
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 10:58am

If you're on antihistamines like Claritin or Zyrtec, your sinuses aren't the only thing being dried out....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2011
Sat, 02-08-2014 - 12:54am
James, I know that I am well behind on the original topic's posting, but I have noticed this with a friend of mine we are emotionally quite close, but not in the sexual sense. He is fifty and has said that over the last few years that his ability to acheive erecetion and whether it be through penetration or self stimulation, he is finding that it takes longer to reach orgasm and ejacuation. In some sessions, unable to obtain either. It does raise the question whether men have an equivalent to menopause in terms of the ability to produce semen, therefore sperm than when you were younger; indeed stop altogeher. As a far as you and your girlfriend is concerned, and you sound considerably younger than my friend, that it may be insecurity on your part (in the nicest sense) and worried that if everything does not go well the first time then you are a failure. If you have never penetrated at all then sometimes bring on this insecurity. I would suggest talking to eachother in a calm, romantic scenario (low lights and soft(er) music, and ask what pleases her. Equally you can express your concerns. Speak slowly and rationally about your concerns that you are unable to reach orgasm and ejaculation. It may be that you need more foreplay; if she really wants a sexual relationship with you, then it will be easily. Just think logically, as fretting over it will not solve the issue. You clearly have an affection for the girl so talk about it. May be just having a kiss and a cuddle for a while; that may be sufficient to arouse both of you. Take it from there, and don't rush in to things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2011
Sat, 02-08-2014 - 1:03am
James, When were you diagnosed epileptic? Was it before puberty and development of the sexual organs or after you had gone through puberty. The friend that I spoke about below is also an epileptic (Tonic Clonic), and takes a mixture of medication to control it- some of the drugs are quite strong, notabley Clonazepam. Since the change in his medication five years ago his seisures have stopped . It may be that the drugs themselves may be having issues with the ability to get the pleasure that you and your girlfriend want. Have you spoken to your Neurologist about this? Are you still having episodes and are they convulsive or myoclonic, i.e. petit mal? I hope that things have impvroved for you, but having a word with the Neurologist may be a starting point.