Way to Help Her Have Orgasms

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2011
Way to Help Her Have Orgasms
3
Sun, 08-18-2013 - 7:40pm

I assumed heterosexual women have an easier time reaching orgasm if their partner has a larger than average penis. Recently I was told by a friend don’t expect a woman to have orgasms during intercourse, regardless of size. On TV and in movies and pornography,(bigger is better), women always seem to have orgasms during intercourse. That’s much more fantasy than reality. In real sex, only about one-quarter of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse. The old in-and-out can be great fun, but it brings only a minority of women to orgasm. Three-quarters of women need direct stimulation of the clitoris. Most women really need clitoral caresses from a hand, tongue, or vibrator. Also take a vibrator to bed. Even if you do all of the above, some women still have trouble with orgasm, and need the intense stimulation only vibrators can provide.  To me and my male friend ladies, female orgasm, a lot like the female mind, is a complicated phenomenon and yes, it is hard to understand. I would like your opinions on this subject!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2012
Thu, 08-22-2013 - 4:03pm
Size can matter some, but it's also what he does with it along with other stimulation. I can't have an orgasm without direct stimulation, although doing it during sex is more of a turn on than just alone. I used to have a harder time orgasming when I overthought it. I had to train myself to turn off my brain and focus on the feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 08-31-2013 - 1:41pm

Boobsandbaubles brought up the most important part........the mental part!  The more a woman thinks about it, the less it's likely to happen.  If she's constantly thinking about it,  "will I or won't I?", it won't happen because she's not enjoying the experience......she's busy worrying instead.  If she doesn't just clear her mind of everything except what she's feeling "down there".......it won't happen.

The physical part is also important.  Size has nothing to do with it, unless he's built like a baby boy (and yes, some men are, I witnessed it, and pretended it was wonderful not to hurt the poor guy's feelings).  And too big is not good either, because most men who are big think that's the ticket.....and it's not.  Too many men think that intercourse is the be-all end-all for women, because it is for THEM.  Nope, we're very different.  My current and best lover ever has it down pat.  Long and sensuous foreplay, concentrating on the clitoris, preferably orally, and at the same time, working on the "g" spot with fingers......will always bring on female ejaculation for me.  No other man has ever given me that reaction before.  Of course, I'm doing things for him at the same time.......and eventually we move on to intercourse, and then it's HIS turn.......and we are both very happy.  That's not to say sometimes a "quicky" isn't fun......but that's a whole different thing. 

Unfortunately, too many men don't have a clue how important the clitoris is for women, or some don't even know where it is........and they never even heard of the "g" spot.......I was in my late 60's before I ever had a f/e, and years later, it's still happening every time.  Even women, in many cases, don't understand how their body works.  There used to be a website called www.the-clitoris.com .  I'm not sure if it's still there, but check it out, it's very interesting and informative for women as well as men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2013
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 7:04pm

Having more fun is a joint effort, but here are a few things the guy can do to ensure fun for all:
 
http://www.kinkly.com/2/1030/lets-talk-about-it/hesays-shesays/how-to-party-like-a-cockstar 

Kinkly.com