Weird Orgasms!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2012
Weird Orgasms!
4
Mon, 06-11-2012 - 9:01am

This is a pretty weird question about my pretty weird orgasms!

Some background: Dh (32) and I (30) have been together for 9 years, married for 6 this July, one DD (2 1/2). We were each other's first and we waited until we got married and everything, so we've basically learned everything together. The sex is amazing most of the time, but my orgasms seem to be marching to the beat of their own drum!

Unlike everybody else, I only orgasm through penetration and lots of energetic thrusting. I only orgasm if I'm face down or doing it doggie style, and there were exactly 3 times when I came on my back with my legs bent all the way back to my shoulders. Oral and finger play are only foreplay for me; I've only come close to orgasming through them a couple of times, but I always need him to penetrate me to really get there. The REALLY weird part is that I never orgasm with him actually inside me! The feeling builds up while he thrusts, then the actual ZING comes right after he withdraws. I only feel it if I'm flat on my belly on the bed/couch/floor/whatever with my legs squeezed shut!! No other position works, I never come with my legs open, I never come with him inside me, and I never come unless he's pounding me like a steak! 

Even when I'm solo (as someone who was 100% celibate for 24 years at this time and age, I should write a book about it!) I can only come lying face down, rubbing my clitoris with something rough, like a towel. Soft touching and slow motion don't work, not when I'm alone, not when I'm with DH. 

I have no problem with all that, and DH, fantastic lover that he is, always makes sure we finish in a position guaranteed to make me come. But I was just wondering if there was anything I can do to get "normal" orgasms lol. I'd really love to experience an orgasm through oral, like everybody else does. Any ideas?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 2:09pm

Do you like porn?  Try watching some (alone or with DH) while MB or having sex in a way you want to orgasm.  For example, watch porn while receiving oral or sitting in your bed using a toy.  It might work if you think porn can turn you on.  But then you may end up with a new problem... needing porn to get off.  Like fissatore said, its mental.  There is no quick fix.  But if you want to experiment, you can try something like this.  You may mentally prove to yourself that you can cum in other ways, and get over the hurdle you've created. 

My orgasms have been limited during various parts of my life for various reasons. Ive found experimenting alone helps.  More frequent kegels helped once.  Trying new toys has helped.  When I came off of a 10 years stint of the birth-control pill, orgasms came easier (almost instantaneously). I wish I would have known that one sooner, dammit.

Ivy

 

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-1998
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 5:28am

Have you had any success with oral sex?  Even if you don't have an orgasm, I think it would be very pleasurable for you to have your labia licked and sucked and when you start to become excited then kiss and suck your clitoris. Your shroud may cover your clit and prevent or minimize contact. Try pulling it back to expose you clitoris and lick it rapidly side to side, around and around, and up and down to find the best way or combination. The more excited you get the firmer the pressure on your clit. It may not work the first few times but along with concentration on a very sexy fantasy and I think you will learn to climax this way. If DH doesn't do oral, use your finger and make sure you are very wet. Use a lubricate if necessary. The KY Hers lubricate gives a cooling tingling effect that my DW loves and makes her come very rapidly.

Take a mirror and examine your genitals so you can see the layout of your labia, vagina, and clitoris. Clit size and shroud vary greatly between women and your clit has to be exposed for you to have a climax without a lot of effort. Pull back on the area just over the shroud if your clit does not poke it's little head out for all the loving it needs.

Good luck and let us know how you cum out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Tue, 03-04-2014 - 7:25pm
I'm a little weird myself and can only have a clit orgasm if my legs are straight even when I masturbate.. I think it's because my nerves get pushed more to the front or something. Who knows. I definitely agree and recommend kegel balls and exercises to increase vaginal orgasms and possibly lead to squirting. But personally my clit orgasms feel much better so keep me posted if you figure out what's going on! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Sun, 03-30-2014 - 8:01pm

Have you considered discussing this with your gynecologist?  With what you describe, there could be a physical problem that is causing your issues.  Or something else that he/she could help you understand what is happening for you.  Just being a little philosophical, if you are orgasming regularly, just remember that things could be a LOT worse.  Just for clarification, I am not minimizing in any way your concerns.  Good luck to you.  Craig.