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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
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13
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 4:44pm
My boyfriend of six months has told me that he is ready to have sex. We are both virgins and have talked about having sex, but I don't think I'm quite ready yet. I'm on birth control and we have discussed using a condom and everything, I'm just still a little nervous. He said he would wait as long as I need, and I don't feel pressured, but I really WANT to have sex with him and want to be ready. Is there anything I can do to make me feel more prepared and ready?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 4:53pm

As long as you have any doubt or questions about it, then hold off.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 4:55pm

I don't think you should be trying to MAKE yourself feel more ready though. When the time is right for YOU, you'll know and you won't have to talk yourself into it. It will just feel totally spontaneous and natural. Wait until it feels right.

But there will always be a risk when having sex, even on the pill and with condoms. Nothing other than abstinance, as you know, will keep you 100% protected.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 6:02pm
I agree with the others. There will probably come a day where you are ready and just kinda feel ready to do it. In the meantime, while you have doubts, don't do it. You're b/f is being thoughtful by saying that he's happy to wait until you are ready. Believe him when he says that too, you shouldn't feel any pressure from anyone-else to have sex if you don't want it at that stage. And if he does really love you, he should be able to understand that and wait until you are ready.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 7:18pm
There isn't anything to prepare you but once you are ready it will just happen as it's supposed to. I knew with my bf that it was the right time and the right person. Be glad that you found someone who is patient and willing to wait until you feel comfortable. I dated my bf for six months before we took the plunge and I have no regrets at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2004
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 8:18pm
I just want to tell you, dont do it unless you are ready. When I had sex for the first time, it just kindda happend. Me and my now husband were at my house and it just happend..No really talking about it or anything, it just felt right and I was ready. I had alot of boys tryin to get me to have sex when i was younger, but it just didnt feel right. But with my husband it did. So dont do it until u feel ready. It will just happen. You will know when you are ready and dont do it until then cause like someone else said..you dont want to regret your first time..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 9:05pm
How is it that you want to have sex but your not ready... go for it! LOL. Maybe im being bad. I just lost my virginty about 2 weeks ago with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, im 18 andh es 20. I felt soo happy after b/c it was with him and i LOVE him so much. Nothing i regret except the pain that made us stop early.. But im just over exaggerating. I wish my b/f was a virgin with me... HAVE FUN, and you will be ready trust me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 9:31pm

Sorry Naleiya, but I have to disagree with you.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 12:20am
When it happened, it was terrible, painful, etc. Now she's encouraging others?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 12:25am

As long as you have any doubts, or fears or nervousness, then you're not ready. You have a lifetime ahead of you to be sexually active, there's no hurry. I have never heard a woman regret that she waited too long, but many women will tell you that they regret doing it when they were too young!

When you're ready, you'll know. When in doubt, DON'T!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: isobel_burgess
Sat, 09-03-2005 - 4:59pm

Isobel? Take it from a family-loving protective man, and husband...when in doubt, WAIT!!! You have a great guy thats willing to wait and not pressure you, so don't be yet ANOTHER statistic and regret your choices. Wait wait wait wait wait until you KNOW you are ready. As a Bible fearing man, its my duty to tell you to wait till marriage. As fellow member of this board though, lol, you wait until you can't hold it anymore...THEN you'll be ready.

Also, keep in mind that unless you tell him clearly, he may not know if you're feeling your own feelings out when you eventually try this or if you're truly truly ready. You've got to be clear with him at all times! This is from other experiences AND suggestions I've read from ladies across the boards on this subject, so some readers may find it helpful.

:)
:)

 

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