2 topics-please give your opinions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2008
2 topics-please give your opinions!
5
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 5:47pm

Hi guys, I just wanted to ask a few questions and get some opinions. But first, I will give you a little background about myself. Well, I've been reading these boards a lot latley and I love them!


Anyway, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years and our sex life is great. We are both really happy in that department. We often talk dirty to eachother but this is one of my questions for you all as I would like some opinions.


Now keep in mind I am VERY happy in this area of my life! But how do you guys feel about telling your partner what to say? For example, he knows what I like to hear and all, but at the same time I know that he can't read my mind, so sometimes I'll tell him "tell me to say...." Is this part of what dirty talk is suspossed to be?


I'm not complaining, I dont mind it all, just wondering...


Does anyone else do this? And do it find it enjoyable?


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 6:33pm

1) telling your partner what to say - is fine and can be very enjoyable


2) anal sex seepage - I have never had anal intercourse, but anal seepage is a concern I would have about anal sex and I wouldnt like it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 6:55pm

I find that encouraging them by asking questions that make them tell you what they want and what they like is much better than just telling them what to say. It gives the air of the unknown and its not contrived.
As far as Anal sex goes. DW and I don't go there we may someday but its not likely. However some simple precautions can be done to make the experience better. Make sure that you have completely voided everything out before you climb into bed. The second is if you want to guarantee no special seepage occurs is to have an enema before the deed as well. Have everything nice and cleaned out.
-Gerry-




-Gerry-






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 9:24pm

Welcome out of lurkdom, cassiebella. It's great to hear that you're enjoying the boards!

I don't think there's anything wrong with telling your partner what you would like him to say. I'm not sure how you're telling him, but letting him know that you love it when he says "fill in the blank" or noticing that he enjoys something you are doing, and then saying "tell me you want me to blank you" or "tell me you love it" can all add to the event. I'm sure there are many, many other things you could say, which would tell him what you want him to say, that could heighten the event for both of you as well.

Sometimes anal sex can be messy, even if you have cleaned and prepared for the event. To protect him from the bacteria, it's a good idea for him to wear a condom. The condom also makes for easy clean up, and will make it easier to deal with any messes that might occur. I'm sure you're aware, but it always bears repeating, nothing should be introduced into the vagina once it's been in the anus unless it has been cleaned. The condom makes for easy clean up.

To reduce the chances of having fecal matter getting on him in the future, you could try these things:

~ Make sure your bowels are empty. Having a BM about 4 hours or less before the event is usually sufficient.

~ Try an enema, but replace the solution with warm tap water. You only need to use about 1/2 of the bottle to cleanse yourself. Do not try to hold the solution in. You don't want it to act as a laxative, just a rinsing agent.

~ Take a shower and try cleaning the area with warm soapy water. You can insert a finger to clean inside as well. This is something the two of you can do together as a form of foreplay if you would like.

Here are a few articles on anal sex as well:

Adventurous Intimacy: 6 Do's and Don'ts of Anal Sex
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,b31g,00.html

I want to try anal sex
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638358_602026,00.html

Second Opinions: Anal Sex
What you should know
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/0,,7558qs10,00.html

... and a couple on dirty talk:

The Do’s and Don’t of Dirty Talk (Tracey Cox walks you through the process)
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,traceycox_c0pnkb69,00.html

Bad Libs: The Good Girls’ Guide to Talking Dirty
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,9j7q,00.html

I hope you stick around and join in more. We have a lot of fun here!

Keep us posted if you give anal sex another try.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 9:38pm

thank you for your reply :)


much appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 12:46am

First, don't worry about the "seepage".......assuming you used lots of "lube".......that gets pushed up into you and mixes with whatever might be there.......and liquifies it.