2nd Marriage: Wait until wedding night?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
2nd Marriage: Wait until wedding night?
8
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 7:49am
There are a fair number of posters who haven't had intercourse until the wedding night. If the first marriage doesn't work or if someone is widowed, would you wait until the 2nd wedding night to have intercourse? Or, now that the virginity barrier has been crossed, would you be more likely to have premarital sex?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 9:33am
Dh was married before and we had sex before we got married. I never thought about waiting (and I'm sure he didn't!) because at the time we became sexually active, there were no thoughts of marriage. I don't think it had anything to do with us not being virgins, it was just a natural progression in our relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 9:53am

Didn't wait for the first wedding night and wouldn't wait for the second one although I doubt I would ever remarry or live with someone if Dh died.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 10:30am

DH (my #2) and I had sex on the day we met LOL

Besides that, I don't believe in waiting for the wedding day....and I wouldn't marry someone who did.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 3:21pm

well, I had premarital sex with both dhs. Xh and I started dating as teenagers and definitely had premarital sex.


Dh and I started having sex about a year before we got married .. it's his first marriage but my second.


I have no hangups, or no moral or religious issues, or anything of the sort about premarital sex.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 4:33pm

YOu say a "fair amount" of people who don't have "intercourse" before marriage......but how many of them are doing EVERYTHING but intercourse, and exactly what do they think they're proving? The "everything else" is usually MORE intimate than intercourse....so I don't even GET that statement. If you're going to do "everything", then why not intercourse?

Having said that, in this day and age I wonder exactly how many people are not "intimate" before marriage, whether first or second? I think it's VERY few. And I would see less reason to avoid it when heading toward a second marriage. By that time, we should know how important the sexual part of a relationship is, and I'd rather find out before than after if we weren't sexually compatible.

I have no quarrel with anyone who chooses to wait, whether for moral, religious or any other reason.....but we've all see posts here from people who wait, and then are disappointed that it's NOT what they expected. That's really sad!

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 8:09pm
We didn't wait until our wedding night for sex. And I'm not sure what I would do if, God forbid, something happened to my DH. It would depend on the relationship I might have at that point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 7:48am
bump
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 10:56am
I didn't and wouldn't wait. Sex is too much of an integral part of a relationship for me.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )