2nd time SEX / Im Scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
2nd time SEX / Im Scared
11
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 12:38pm

HEY EVERYONE.. or to people who read my first post when i 1ST lost my virginity about 4 weeks ago.

::2ND TIME SEX::
well, at it for the second time and i can say when we first started it hurt like the first time, but i told him go slow.. and he did. And, a few moments later it didnt hurt at all it was great... i didnt bleed either like the first time.
::IM SCARED::
also, i might be pregnant from sex the first time. im waiting for my period to come this month if it doesnt i will know for sure. I havent taken the pregnancy test because im scared. i dont know why, but i am and i have no one to really talk except for him, but he just makes jokes.. like he wants me to be pregnant. he would say,"your pregnant thats why your stomach hurts all the time.." b/c i tell him when my tummy hurts because lately it does when i wake-up or anytime during the day. He also told me, "You know your going to be the mother of my babies." But i remember the first time he said he wasnt ready and didnt want any children soon and i said the same thing but now he's talking like he does want me to have a baby and this 2nd time around with sex he didnt want to wear a condom...

Why do you think hes acting this way and doesnt want to wear a condom ??
Naleiya

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 1:22pm

First of all, IF you think you're pregnant, take a test.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 2:49pm

Why do you think hes acting this way and doesnt want to wear a condom ?? Why? Because you allow him to, that's why!

This is YOUR body, and YOU are the one who will have a baby, and have to take care of it for the next 18 or 20 years! He's Mr. Macho......he wants you to have his babies. Tell him to produce a marriage license first! Naleiya, you are mistaking sex for love. If he loved you, he wouldn't want to get you pregnant, because he knows you're too young. He doesn't love you, he likes sex with you. If you do get pregnant, he won't be a part of your life! He'll be long gone, and you'll be left alone to take care of your obligations, possibly on welfare if you don't have an education that will allow you to get a decent job and support yourself and your child!

If you think you're pregnant, then TAKE the test. What happened to Planned Parenthood? I thought you were going to go there, and get on some birth control!

Being scared to take the test will not change the results. If you're pregnant, then you are, and not taking the test will not change that. If you're NOT pregnant, then you're a lucky girl, and you should NEVER have sex with this guy again unless you ARE on birth control, and he also wears a condom! Has he been tested for STD's? If not, you could get a disease from him that would be worse than getting pregnant. You could DIE! Or you could get some diseases that will make you sterile, and you can NEVER have a baby!

You are not ready to have a baby, and you're not even ready to have sex with him, or anyone else. If you have no regard for your own safety and health, then you have some growing up to do before you become sexually active.

Please start thinking about yourself, and stop worrying about what HE wants. If he wants sex with you, then he HAS TO USE A CONDOM!!! If he doesn't like that, too bad. It's YOUR body, and you have to take care of it....it's obvious HE doesn't care what happens!

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 4:23pm

The more important question is WHY are you putting your whole future into his hands this way? Why are you allowing him to decide whether condoms will be used or not?

Don't be flattered by his saying that he wants you to have his children! He doesn't know what he wants at such a young age. Next week, he may decide he doesn't want children at all! Then what? No, he doesn't want to wear a condom because it feels better to HIM without one!

Listen to what he says with your BRAIN, not your heart and protect yourself. Get a pregnancy test, use it and then take the necessary steps to protect your health AND your future because he may or may not be in it.




Edited 9/13/2005 4:30 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 7:38pm

Oh please believe if i am pregnant hes going to be there and in this childs life. No matter if he likes it or not.
i am not letting him control my LIFE. i dont know, maybe the way i left the post you all think that HE is running my life and hes not. i RUN this, i am in control of everything i do NOT him, and trust me i know and HE knows this already... if only, if only you all knew. But, i already know everything there is to a baby, i work with them all day every day. I also know VERY WELL, that he LOVES me more than i love him AND TRUST ME, i know its not all about that. I also know for a fact i am not using sex with him for just LOVE... and i also know hes not going anywhere.
He is 20 years old and he has alot of money saved up and has alot going for himself, having a child right now may put both of our futures/careers on hold but at least i know he will be there. we are both going to the same college, both have jobs and money. And im totally dependable on myself, if,IF he does decide to not be there. its possible, but thats not even in my head right now. I hope i am not pregnant though. I just think i am because lately my stomach hurts and i FEEL fat. But i will take the pregnancy test tonight before i go to bed.

i dont like the fact how people talk to me like i am stupid. -- because i said, he doesnt like to wear the condoms and i didnt say b/c i FORGOT, to mention i make him put it on. i am really strict with him on sex. im new at it, he's not. But i know theres STD'S and i can get pregnant, trust me on that too, I KNOW.

Nalei'

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 7:45pm
I hate to be the one to break the news - but there are an awful lot of single parents out there who really, truly believed that the other parent would be there for their kids...and are still waiting for that moment to occur. You can legally get something that *says* they have to pay child support (good luck enforcing it if the parent skips out on it though), but there is NO way to make someone be a good parent or even an involved one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 7:57pm
i know. My mom is a canidate in that situation because to me shes my mother and father in ONE. my father is a dead beat. i also have many girlfriends who have kids that are 18 or younger with no father for their babies. Trust me i told my friends the same thing "why have a baby when you know hes not going to be there for it?" So, if i am giving them the advice, trust me i already know these situations. Like i said, it happens...it HAPPENS. but i am very confident to know that my man will not be a dead beat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 9:52pm
i agree with tally and everyone else. im 18 also and im very mature and serious about what i do with my partner. dont say " if it happens it happens " because i highly doubt you are going to want a child at 18. and thats taking 18 years away from your life .. having to support, love and care for another human being. you have the rest of your life to be a mother. and if your boyfriend loves you then he wont refuse to use a condom. there are consequences that come along if you arent practicing safe sex and not just pregnancy. do you know your boyfriends sexual past ? are you certain he is clean of stds. if he doesnt want to where a condom, i suggest both of you go to the doctors and get tested and you should go on birth control. and bc doesnt work right away, you need to wait a month or so for it to be 99% effective. so while you arent on bc .. please, please have him wear a condom. and if he refuses .. if i were you id tell him no sex, because if he is using the pull-out method .. there are still chances of getting pregnant since there is sperm in the pre-ejaculate.
have fun BUT BE SAFE !!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 10:29pm

Thank you sexynympho.. i can relate more with you b/c were the same age. But girl, i know how it is and trust me who doesnt want to be SAFE. i definetly do, and thats what i plan to do. But, im already letting him know, no sex unless he puts on a condom and by him not wanting to wear one i already let him know thats a turn-off and makes me not want to have sex with him.

LOL.. thankyou again
Nalei'

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 2:39am

Naleiya, we aren't mind readers here. We can only respond to the info. you provide in your post and you said nothing about making him wear a condom. But IF that were always the case, then you wouldn't need to use a pregnancy test, would you?

And as Tally said, there are plenty of deadbeat parents out there so there are no guarentees in life.

And you won't believe the changes you'll experience in just the next 5 yrs. At 18, the odds are that this guy won't be the last man in your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 7:29am

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