3 Questions!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
3 Questions!
4
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 11:21am

Ok: I'm still new to sex, and I'm still skeptical about some things and need some re-assurance.

1) I don't know if it's just me, but sometimes after sex (like a day after) I'll feel nauseous. I've noticed this also when I've used a sex toy too. I don't know if it has something to do with penetration or what. But it doesn't ALWAYS happen, but it happens more often than not.
2) Last night my boyfriend and I had sex and I didn't have an orgasm. I was extremely tired and wasn't really in the mood to do it at all but I did for him. I usually have no issue with climaxing, but it is natural to not have an orgasm sometimes, right?
3) As of right now condoms are my only source of birth control. I have a doc. appt. in 2 weeks to start the pill. However, I don't know if it's true, but does sperm die when coming in contact with the air? I know I should probably know this lol, but after giving him oral sex it was everywhere. We wiped it off well before we put a condom on, but once we started having sex, nothing could have stayed around his penis coming in contact with me? I don't really think I need to worry. We are always always safe. But I don't know, just need some re-assurance! Thanks a lot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: pretty2196
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 11:58am

1. I can't imagine "penetration" making you nauseous, particularly a day afterward. More than likely, it's nerves, guilt, fear, whatever. You're admittedly nervous about an unwanted pregnancy.

2. Is it "natural" not to have an orgasm sometimes? Honey, some women NEVER have orgasms. If you're tired, stressed out, or whatever, it's not going to happen. Orgasms aren't necessary for you OR for him to enjoy the sex. Be happy that you usually have them...and don't worry about it if you don't. Sex is for pleasure, and orgasms are the icing on the cake, not the reason you're having sex. It works the same for guys. Sometimes if they're tired or stressed about something, they can't reach climax or ejaculate. It means NOTHING.

3. "Safe" sex is not only about unwanted pregnancy.....it's also about unwanted STD's. Unprotected oral sex is just as dangerous as unprotected intercourse when it comes to STD's......and unless he's been tested for any and all STD's.....you're taking a chance with oral sex. It's less likely than from intercourse, but it CAN happen. As far as the sperm is concerned, you said it was "everywhere".....but I'm assuming it wasn't in or on your vulva. Worst case scenario would be that it was on your hands, or his hands, and transferred to the outside of the condom in the process of putting it on.....but the chance of that happening are one in a million! Just to be sure, it would be better to WASH than to just "wipe it off".

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
In reply to: pretty2196
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 2:40pm
Thank you so much. I have a clear head now from your advice!
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pretty2196
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 5:47pm
i sometimes feel nauseous the next day if i am aroused for a long while but don't orgasm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: pretty2196
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 11:27pm

1) Nope. Dunno what would cause this. Sex or orgasms themselves are unlikely to cause that. Coincidence maybe?

2)Yep. It's natural to not have orgasms especially if you're not in the mood. Just cause you're having sex, it doesn't mean that you're going to have an orgasm.

3) Sperm die when they come in contact with the air and when they dry out. Because they are so small they only need a tiny tiny blob of fluid to live in. So it's possible (but not likely) that some could have remained alive in a tiny amount of semen in a crevice or wrinkle around his penis and it's possible (but really not likely) that they were transferred to your vagina when you had intercourse. I think that we're talking virtually impossible odds here so I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you got pregnant that way you'd have to be almost the unluckiest woman alive.