30s and Viagra, how do women react?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
30s and Viagra, how do women react?
8
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 2:04pm

I'm a single guy in my 30's and recently went to the doctor because I was experiencing ED with my last girlfriend. I worked fine when we fooled around but when we went to have sex I would lose it. The doc thinks it's a stress or nerves thing and not physical, and thinks that my problem will resolve itself after I start having sex again. It has been several years since I have been with anyone so I'm pretty sure it's just nerves and performace anxiety. In the meantime my doc gave me viagra to help when I'm with a woman.

My question is how and when should I bring this up with women I date? I don't know how women in their 20's and 30's will take it when they hear that their guy needs the help of little blue pill. My issue has nothing to do with them, and I don't want them to take it personal. Do I need to just be up front before things happen? Do I try without the pill and if things don't work take it at that point? Or do I just take it for a while without saying anything, with hopes that the doc is right and things will be back to normal once I'm with someone a few times.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 2:22pm

Here's the thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 3:02pm

Welcome to the board, chicago-guy.

I guess I would answer that question based on what type of relationship you're planning to have.

IF you're hooking up with someone that you don't have a relationship with, then you might want to just take the Viagra and not mention it. Even if you don't have sex, you're only out the cost of the pill.

IF you're investing in a relationship with a woman, than I think honesty is always the best route to take. Also, Viagra takes about 1/2 hour to work, so you can't exactly wait and see how things go before taking it. Personally, I think if you're building a relationship, you can talk about this before it ever gets to that point. Then the two of you can decide together whether you want to try with or without for the first time or two. Who knows, if she doesn't over-react, you might find that you don't even need them anymore.

My husband is on heart meds and has problems with ED from time to time. He has a prescription for Viagra. Most of the time, we don't use it, and things work out fine. If they don't, we still enjoy ourselves with other activities besides intercourse. If we have a special night planned, then he might use 1/2 a Viagra just to make sure things will work. I know we're older (45 and 54) and married, but really, it's not a huge deal when it's between caring partners.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 7:02pm
I'm 24 and frankly I would rather a guy be comfortable enough with himself that he could be honest about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 7:29pm
Welcome to the board, littlemissgreen, and thanks for joining in!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 8:24pm
My experience was somewhat similar. My girlfriend and I were dating for 2 months when my prescription for my Calais
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 1:00am

I think that if things start getting hot you should just tell her. Say something like "I haven't been with anyone in a while and I had some trouble last time..." and tell her exactly what you said in your post. You said that everything was fine until you guys were going to have sex, and that it was from nerves.

**Amy**

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 11:07am
Thanks all. I guess it goes to show that us men really do make too big a deal about our manhood! I'm comforting to hear that women out there are understanding when it comes to this type of thing. My last girlfriend had a huge issue with it, which is why we're not together anymore. That put a lot of pressure on me which I'm sure didn't help matters.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-1998
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 12:23pm


I just want to clarify something for the readers....

"When a man has true physical ED.....he's not capable of getting an erection at all."

This statement is wrong. ED is the inability to get hard enough and/or maintain an erection for an extended period of time. This decline usually happens gradually over many years. It's not like a light switch. Aging, prescription drugs, stress, fatigue... There are many contributing factors.

As far as the ED drugs are concerned, avoid taking with food or soon after eating. In my experience, you will get better results taking a pill at 6pm; having dinner at 7pm; having sex at 9pm (vs taking the pill at 8pm).