3Some

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2004
3Some
44
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 10:57pm
I've been happily married to my husband for 4 years and we are together for 7. We are both 26 and are planning to have a baby in the next year or two.

A few years ago my husband brought up the idea of 3some with another girl. Although I was intrigued by the idea of it, I was hesitant and very nervous. Last year for Christmas I figured..WHY NOT. My husband never had any interest to have sex with these girls, he was just interested in sensual and erotic experience of the 3some (kissing, touching, etc...) I felt very comfortable and at ease and so we began exploring our options.

We started out by going to Strip Clubs and he would buy a lap dance for me. One thing led to another and we ended up in a private room with a stripper, making out. The following week we had an amazing experience with an escort.

As the months went by, this suddenly became the sexual fantacy that can now be fullfilled whenenever we wish. Unfortunatley, I was starting to feel very uncomfortable with the idea. My husband was very absorbed in it and he was trying to find a girl for us. He also asked me to talk these girls and see if we would get along. This was so uncomfortable for me.

For some strange reason I was begining to feel less sure of myself and not at all confident. Today, my husband told me that he would like to have a 3some again and I don't know what to do. I am not sure if this is good for a marriage. If anyone has similiar experiences that they can share, I would greatly appreciate it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: lena2028
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:40pm
jeep, it concerns me that you use words like "angry" and "infuriated" sooo often in your posts about your SO....it would be a red flag and a turn off to me to have my man getting all pissed off about sexual issues over and over again....and if you and she enjoyed the MFM 3some, why do you feel the need to insist she should give in to your desire for a FMF?....my husband and i enjoyed occasional MFM 3somes...i am not bi-sexual, i have no interest in having another woman in my bed, i don't desire to have a womans hands or mouth on me OR my man...i simply am not turned on to the idea of a woman in my bed...why does that mean i have "issues" or that i have a "double standard"?...if a person is simply not aroused sexually by something, does it help to badger them and push them and get all infuriated and try to pursuade them to go along with us?...to be honest, i would find your demanding approach very unsexy...i would especially find your short temper of great concern....i would also find your seeming obsession with sex cause for concern...it seems to me you put great emphasis on your SO behaving in a sexual manner...sure sex is wonderful and a hot partner is ideal...but do you feel you have a balance?...do you feel you put as much energy into other aspects of your relationship?...such as shared interests that aren't sexual?...such as compatibility beyond sex?...such as mutual respect and working to maintain a peaceful romance and to wanting to be pleasing to our loved ones in more deeper ways than just orgasms?...i get the impression you are young and still sexually charged...that you haven't developed the maturity to create a full and satisfying relationship beyond sex...if i'm wrong, i'm sorry...but if i'm right you may have pause for thought because it seems your romance is on fragile footing at this point and i wonder if your SO desires more from a man than you can offer.

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: lena2028
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:48pm
as a woman who's tried 3somes, i can attest that i am no longer interested in that kind of sex and it is NOT due to any of the 3 issues you listed jeep (jealousy/hang ups/close mindedness)...it is simply i am much more aroused sexually and totally satisfied with one on one sex with a man i love....i feel its immature to assuem it must be jealousy or hang ups or close mindedness....i've tried both and i prefer sex alone with my man.

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: lena2028
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 1:25pm
See there you go again Honey, Blatant assault. I am tired of dealing with your attacks. Therefore I will report this insadent, and put you on my ignore list, permanently. You may use the Honey vinegar screen name, but I have seen no honey from you at all, ever. You seem to me to be a bitter, hateful,and totally out to get everyone who is not going to bow to your assumptions. Thanks for the input, regardless of how repugnant it may be towards the end. It is after all your opinion right? Only this time it gets personal again!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: lena2028
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 1:28pm
WOW, this was a post to me that was not offensive, or taken to a personal level!!! Hmm. Interesting. Oh well, still going to ignore your posts, non the less as you IMHO have no honey to go with all your vinegar.

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