40 something women & sexual peaks?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2007
40 something women & sexual peaks?
8
Sat, 03-17-2007 - 3:06pm
Hello!
I am wondering if any other women out there have experienced a sexual peak at age of 40? (or 40 something) I know most the information out there tells us that our peaks are earlier but I feel like a 17 year old male for going on 2 years now. I don't just mean being horny either, I mean the way I think and view things, I also think about sex in one way or another at least once throughout the day, everyday, not to where it is a problem, I just think more about erotic things then I have ever before. My husband is now the one who is turning me down instead of visa versa, he pretty much knows that whenever he wants sex, I am game. I don't care how tired I am or how much I have on my plate, I love sex and would not think of turning him down. I am so not complaining, I am enjoying it and so is my husband. Although, I do have to admit that getting turned down SUCKS A LOT! For the first time in my life I am able to relate to young men and the way their brain works, it's weird.
Anyway, anyone else find this happening at this age or heard of it? It's wonderful, I hope it lasts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 03-17-2007 - 3:58pm

It's not unusual at all. By the time you're in your 40's you've really matured in your way of thinking, your family is theoretically ready to be on their own, and life is just better in general (if you're in a good and stable marriage).

There's no reason to think that the "peak" will lessen either as you get older. I've had the best sex I ever had in my 60's! Another thing is we women finally get over thinking it's all about how much we weigh, stretch marks, etc. We don't CARE anymore.....take us the way we are, because this is about as good as it's going to get! Too bad women in their 20's don't get that!

Another thing is that by the time you're in your 40's.....you're probably in peri-menopause, or even menopause, and your estrogen levels start dropping off, and stop masking your testosterone levels (that's why you feel like a teen aged boy, lol).

It's ALL good! Bottom line, another thing younger women don't get.....if you think sexy and feel sexy, you ARE sexy! There's no reason, health permitting, that we can't have a great sex life till we're in our 70's or 80's! The same goes for men. By that time, it becomes quality over quantity....Might not be twice a day, but when it happens it's great, as our "resident" septugenarian Gigi can and does attest to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Sun, 03-18-2007 - 4:30am
DW and I are both in our 70'S and still love sex. We have some type of sex 3-4 times a week. We do lots of different things and love it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sun, 03-18-2007 - 6:49pm

Hello rebeckav...


I am experiencing the same situation you have. I have even used your exact words...I feel like a 17yo boy. I'm 48, perimenopausal and delighted with the changes that have occurred. My sex drive has escalated dramatically recently. The estrogen does mask the testosterone levels so the surge you feel is hormonal in nature. Enjoy it...it's one of the few breaks we get at this point.


My DH is having difficulty keeping up with me at present as well. Be careful there...he may feel somewhat inadequate in not being able to keep up with you. Explain to him why it is you are experiencing this surge in libido.


We had a nice thread going over on the Solo board about this topic. Quite obviously, many of us are Soloing...probably like 17yo boys as well. LOL.

Mrs P

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 9:24am
Yes, yes, yes to all of your questions! Perhaps they should have a board here for us 40 something horny women. I found these boards in a large part because of this very reason. I am wondering if I am becoming a sex addict (LOL). We are going to enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts, but I don't want to call it a peak. If I'm at a peak, I have to go down the other side, and I don't want to! Just last night, I stayed up later than DH working on the computer, and he let me know that I could bring a toy to bed with me...just as long as I let him get some sleep!!!! Somehow, being rejected isn't so bad if he encourages you to have fun anyway (once in a while)! He's doing his best to keep up, and we are having TONS of fun -- often ;-)


Edited 3/19/2007 9:27 am ET by hunt4o


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 8:38pm

I'm 47 and going thru the same thing! I've been with my man for 8 years as of yesterday and our relationship is what i still say , has to be a dream ! He's 5 years younger then i am and has all he can do to keep up with me sometimes.
Altho , today he came home from work ....we sat on the sofa talking for a few and the next thing i new , we were doing it on the sofa ! He was the one who took the controls this time , which i find sooooo sexy !
I say , WTG !! Just enjoy this wonderful time in yr life - We only live once !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 10:24am
Isn't it GREAT?!?! It started in my early 40's and now that I've just turned 50 it shows no signs of letting up. I was very sexual in my 20's (in the 1970's when sex was 'safer')and did have a high libido then, too. I married when I was 30, never had children, so the hormones and energy levels shouldn't have caused problems in my thirties, but that turned into a barren wasteland sexually. I was as bummed out about it as my DH! But who knew this was around the corner? I think this is something that's just getting out of the closet, so to speak. I hear more and more women talking about it.











iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 11:01pm
moonlight -- I'm so glad that you posted that it's still going strong! I have been afraid of the slide down the other side of the peak, and have never had anyone remark that it DOES last! Woo Hoo, I feel like "I've got somethin' to talk about"! Or at least look forward to ;-) I just absolutely LOVE where my libido is right now.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Fri, 03-30-2007 - 11:43am

Hi Hunt,

Happy to be able to give you a favorable report! Kinda like my libido where it is, too... I thought all that stuff about 'nifty fifty' was propaganda, but evidently not... So at 40 something you can enjoy being a horny lady without fear of the other side of the hill. I think the saying "if you don't use it, you lose it" is really true in this case. The more I get, the more I want - poor DH!

Moon