8 months of dating and no sex?? Normal?
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| Tue, 07-19-2005 - 10:17am |
discussion title: Dating 8 months and no sex??
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message #: 24006.1
from: prettymatty1972
date: Jul-18 2:57 pm
replies: 2
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HELP. I'm becoming more confused every day. I've been dating a man exclusively now for over 8 months. Everything seems fine - he's very attentive and caring. However, he doesn't seem to be terribly interesting in taking the relationship to the next level - physical intimacy. I'm so confused - sometimes I think it's out of respect for me, sometimes I feel like it's the fact that he's shy and needs encouragement. I can't help but wonder, though, if it's ME??? We'll get a little hot and heavy and he always pulls back.
Any thoughts would be GREATLY appreciated. Also, any suggestions about how to bring up this topic with him would be great as well. I've tried a couple of times, but it's like pulling teeth to get this man to talk!

Sure it could be
You can't MAKE him talk though. He either wants to be open about why he's waiting or he doesn't. You say that he's caring and attentive but if he has issues with sex or communication problems, then you need to know that before investing even more time in this relationship.
But sex doesn't make a relationship....friendship, respect and love make a relationship. Sex is just an expression of that. Tell him what you need and expect from him and a relationship, whether he responds or not, he'll know where you stand.
good luck :))
Apples
Well, w/o more information, I would say it is perfectly normal. If you live in NY, LA, SF, or any other large city and are over 25, and he has had previous partners as have you, then it gets less normal. I dont know the details, so I cant say for sure. I think there is an easy solution. Make out like normal, take his hand and guide it to where it needs to go. If he doesnt bite then ask him what he expects out of a relationship. Ask him if he likes a healthy amount of sex, if he is waiting for marriage, whatever.
I waited 11 months before starting but I was in constant communication w/ my lady. Both of us are a little more laid back so we dont read into things to much. Every couple is different, but I am surprised there has been at least some conversation about sex.