? about control/domination by men
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 06-01-2005 - 11:27am |
Im hoping someone can give me some info. The man I'm involved with is very aggressive in bed and controlling. It seems when things are happy with us he's not so much, but when I've been no so nice or voice myself about anything he does not like or should I say want to deal with, he becomes very mean and aggressive in bed. What is this about? He gets very physical, slapping my face, choking, pinning down so I can't move, then the names come, bitch, slut, whore, then the I own you, you do what I say. In our daily life he is controlling to a point, he makes the calls, he decides when we will see each other, he cuts me off if I have upset him. He shows no emotions towards me. Other than I like you alot. Tells me things like he is the master of the painful trueth. Can someone anyone, give me some help.
Thanks

Okay, now why are you in this relationship?
IF this guy is using violence, abuse and anger to manipulate you, then it's not a real relationship. You do understand that, don't you? Love doesn't hurt.
Get out before he goes too far and kills you and then, get some counseling to give you a healthier perspective. You need to understand why you think this type of treatment is okay.
As Kat said, get out of this relationship and then seek professional help for yourself to understand why you are allowing
Dear Shoelady,
I hate to repeat what has already been posted here, but it bares repeating: TIME TO LEAVE THIS GUY. Do not wait for things to get better. Do not expect that they will. Pack your stuff (or his stuff if he is in your house) and get out. If you need protection call the police. This type of behaviour is dangerous.
He obviously has some serious problems and guys like this can end up killing you. Also, if the answer to your post is not completely obvious to you as Tish and Kat mentioned, get some help and work on loving yourself. No one deserves to be beaten and belittled by anyone else. Love has nothing to do with domination or power.
Good luck and much love to you.
Scott.
I will add my two cents worth. No one here can help you. YOu have to help yourself by getting OUT of this relationship.
He is verbally and physically abusing you. You do not deserve that. Get out, and never look back.
Oh wow, that is really scary. And as much as I hate the word "normal" - it's so NOT NORMAL. I would have already run for the hills if I were in your place.
I am going to echo the thoughts of others here: leave him and get some therapy to find out why you let him treat you that way. You are worth much more than how he's treating you.
He choked you? I'd get an order of protection if I were you. You have to fear him.
There's no ifs, ands or buts about this, you have to get out ASAP! And most importantly, you need therapy. Self-preservation is innate. You have to find out why it doesn't kick in. Why you'd allow and continue allow someone to harm you. Hugs to you.