Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2005
Advice
4
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 5:26pm
The sex with my last boyfriend wasn't good and I am a bit insecure now- like it was partly my fault. I have a new guy in the wings and I don't want to have this same problem again. First, I am a very petite person- small everything. When I first started having sex, I guess the guys I dated were smaller- so size wasn't an issue. Now that I have gotten older- then men I am dating are older and bigger, and size has come to be an issue for me. My last boyfriend I thought was too big- he was really into this hard thrusting style- I would lay there and think- is this going to be over soon. I loved the kissing and foreplay- it was just the intercourse itself. My question is- if I am aroused enough- even if he is huge- could the hard thrusting style be pleasurable for me- or is it always going to be an issue because I am small?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: goddess_emma
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 6:18pm

I don't think this is about your size (or lack there of), but rather about the technique that your boyfriends use. A hard thrusting style is not everyone's preference.

Also, if a man is well endowed, he *must* learn to be gentle - with any woman - not just you. It just goes with the territory of being large. I've had a couple of large guys in the past who had all the skill of a jackhammer - and it wasn't pleasant :-(

The secret here is communication. I find that dirty talk is a great time to tell a man what you like. Something like: "ohhh....give it to me long and slow"

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: goddess_emma
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 12:26am

Size, yours or his, has nothing to do with it. Your last b/f didn't have a clue, and that's partially your fault. If you were in pain, then you should have told him. If he had feelings for you, he would have adjusted what he was doing so that it wouldn't have hurt you. If you never told him, then how could he have known?

I will never understand why a woman would lay there and grit her teeth, when a simple statement would have ended it! If you can't discuss what's going on with a guy, then you shouldn't be having sex with him. If you were standing in line somewhere with a guy, and he was standing on your foot....would you just stand there in pain, or would you ask him to move his foot? Sex is no different. If you were doing something that was hurting him, do you think he wouldn't have told you about it?

Also, just because the men you're dating now are older, that doesn't mean they're "bigger". Age has nothing to do with penis size. Actually, even a man's overall "size" has nothing to do with the size of his penis. He could be 6'6", and 250 pounds, and have a smaller than average penis. The good thing about men as they get older is that they also have learned more about women, and hopefully are more concerned about their partner's pleasure.

Don't get hung up on something just because it happened in the past.....every new man is a new experience. If you have a problem with something, then learn to TELL your partner about it. If you don't then he thinks you love what he's doing, and it will never change.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: goddess_emma
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 10:18am

Age and penis size has nothing to do with each other.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2005
In reply to: goddess_emma
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 11:34am
After the first few times, I was able to slow him down in the beginning and I enjoyed that part, but it always was the same in the end. I didn't know how to tell him that his style wasn't working for me- I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But you are right- communication is key.