Advice for HIS first time

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Advice for HIS first time
7
Fri, 09-01-2006 - 4:51pm

i posted this on another board - figured this would be a better place for it:

I'm sure this has been asked before...but, what can a girl do to make sure a guy's first time is memorable, fun, hot, pleasing and above all else, keep him from getting worried or stressed?

i'm 29 years old and have been having sex since i was 16 - met a wonderful man who happens to be a 30 year old virgin and things are starting to get hot and heavy and the topic of sex has come up a few times. We both don't want to rush into anything yet - it's only been a month - but i feel like the time is getting closer.

Any advice??

Thanks!
mindofchyna

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 1:27am
Wellllll....I think all first times are memorable without staging it and using props. I think at his age, he has enough friends and enough exposure to all the media offered to us right thru our televisions that he will figure this out on his own. I think that letting nature/fate take its course on the night you do decide to sleep together will be hotter than choreographing the event. Maybe wear something a lil sexier than normal under your clothing on the night you know its going to happen. Or step into the bathroom to brush your teeth and come out in something angelic and white or devilish and black. No matter what you do, he will remember it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 9:23am
Don't try to make everything perfect,

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 12:34pm

I agree with the others. Let nature take it's course. Unless the guy's been living in a cave, virgin or not, I'm sure he has a "general" idea of what he's supposed to do. And unless he's very unusual, it'll be over so fast he won't know what happened!

After THAT happens, then just relax, cuddle, and eventually, he'll probably be ready again....and that's the time you start giving him a few instructions about what he can do to please you.....which you would have to do even if he wasn't a virgin.

I never understood why anyone would worry about making it "hot" or "memorable".....which it will be no matter WHAT you do! He's not going to "see" your lingerie, he's not going to "hear" the music.......he's just going to do what his body tells him to do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 8:30pm
I also agree with the others that there's no need to put pressure on either of you by trying to make it special, as it will be memorable for him, regardless what you do. And as Dakine pointed out, the first time he may be finished before he even gets going, LOL. (BTW, have you seen 'The 40 year-old Virgin?) In my first time I managed to ejaculate so fast that I didn't even have an orgasm (yes, that is possible). So, may I recommend that you suggest to him that you take it slow and get to know each other's bodies with some oral and manual sex. You can get his first time out of the way with a BJ or a HJ, and then, while he's recovering, he can explore your body and various erogenous zones and, if he's game, he could even do a little muff diving. His second time around I'm guessing he's going to be a lot more relaxed, and he'll last a lot longer.


Edited 9/3/2006 8:42 pm ET by rice71
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 12:11pm

DH of GKK here. DW talked to me about this post and suggested I put my two cents in. So here it goes....

I think there is a lot of pressure on a guy to please his partner. As a result, if he orgasms quickly, he may feel like a failure. And, if he is really a virgin, he will likely orgasm very, very quickly. Remember, he has been thinking about this event for most of his adult life!

If you really want to make his first time a rockin' wild time, the first thing to do is set aside your own physical desire a bit. That will take the pressure off him to "hold out" longer than he is likely to be able to in an effort to please you. Even better, tell him that this first time is all about him and that you want him to orgasm. Even better, tell him how excited you are at the thought of feeling him climax and knowing that you are the cause of it. Tell him that you want it to be totally and completely about him.

If you do it right, he shouldn't be concerned about how he is performing for you or how long he lasts (which, if he is really a virgin, won't be very long).

Taking the performance pressure off is the best thing you can do for him. Also, don't let the sex play end with the first orgasm. Tickle him, tease him, play with him (but not under pressure to get another erection). In fact, don't even go there (his penis) until you notice him starting to get erect again. The less pressure he feels from you to get another erection, the easier it will be for him to get erect again.

Then you will be able to play all night!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 3:28pm

Thanks for the advice everyone - i appreciate it!

The first time happened a little sooner than i expected! a few days after I posted my question!!

And i think "we" did awesome! it was quick - but i was so happy to be a part of it, it didn't bother me at all!

and yes...the 2nd time was great! LOL

i'm a very happy camper!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 10:52pm
Congrats! Have fun and stay safe.