Advice Needed
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| Thu, 05-10-2007 - 6:22am |
I met this great guy who is so easy to talk to and whom I trust completely. We are friends but we talk about everything including sex. I told DH about him just so DH wouldn't assume the wrong thing. I even told him what this guy and I talk about. DH isn't comfortable completely but he doesn't want to not trust me either.
This guy and I hit it off really well and we are both in a long-term relationship. He has already made an agreement with me that we should never meet and that we are only talking as friends and to learn from one another. I am completely comfortable talking to him but I'm worried that what we talk about may make DH think the wrong thing about this guys and my friendship.
If we are only talking out of innocence and to learn from each other is that a bad thing? Has anyone else gone through something simialar? I don't want to cut ties with this guy and him and I are only friends! I'm not sure what to do...
Advice and tips would be great. Thanks everyone!!

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Me, personally, I see nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex... Most of my friends are male and we talk about anything and everything. Some in real life and some on-line.
I'm wondering though why you say you've agreed to never meet? Are you afraid it would lead to something? If so, then I don't think it's a good idea to continue talking with him. That's more than friendship. There are many people, male and female, on-line that I would love to meet. Because we are friends, nothing more so nothing would happen.
Maybe you should get "friendly" with your husband, and talk to HIM about sex and other personal things. Reverse the situation. How would YOU feel if your husband told you he and some woman at work are good friends, and talk about everything, including sex?
You're treading on thin ice. The decision to never meet says something....if there wasn't some kind of attraction going on, the question of "meeting" would never come up.
You didn't say where this guy came from, but since you've never met, I'll guess on the internet. If that's the case, then probably this guy is getting his jollies talking to you about sex......you're being used!
Well then, in my opinion, you are not "just friends". I don't think it's a good idea to continue talking with him.
I have to agree with Sakura... It sounds like he's using you to have his fun. Can you talk to your husband the way you talk to this guy?
Hi!
You need to seriously consider the overall benefit that maintaining this friendship will have on your relationship with your DH... and ultimately your family!
Hi Erika,
I don't know if you'll like this, but here's how I feel....
Healthy flirting is great. Hearing erotic things that make you think of trying new things with your DH is wonderful. Fantasies are fun. But, if you are forming a relationship with another person, and you feel attracted to that person -- then you are putting yourself and your relationship at risk. Even more so when the nature of your relationship centers around sex.
While you may never meet this guy, how far will the attraction go? What if he encourages you to cyber with him? How would you feel if DH was having a similar relationship with another woman? How would your DH feel if he knew you were attracted to this guy? Most 'mistakes' happen innocently enough, but people who play with fire are bound to get burnt.
For me, I would feel that I was risking too much to have an on-going relationship with someone who put my marriage at risk.
You're the only person that knows your own boundaries, but I do think you should consider your DHs boundaries as well in this area.
my partner in the siggy exchange
I just made a long post in response to your first post.
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