Advice Needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
Advice Needed
1
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 8:30am
I am going to be having sex for the first time, but I am worried that I won't be wet enough. We have tried once before (but got interupted so we had to stop), and although we used lots of foreplay, we would sort of take turns. Like I would give him a handjob for a little to get him ready, but then I would stop getting wet, or he would finger me or give me head and he would lose his erection. Also, sometimes it hurts if he puts more than two fingers in me, even if I am really wet. Is there anything I can do to make it hurt less? And FYI, we feel completely emotionally ready and have been together for over a year, so I feel strongly that that isn't the problem.

                             
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: nat_c_123
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 9:44am

First, you're already having sex. What you're talking about is "intercourse". Being "wet" isn't all that it takes, it takes "arousal" and if you're too tight, then you're not aroused enough. That could also be because you're "worried".

It doesn't matter if you're together for 5 years, you're still nervous, and so is he. That's why he loses his erection. What you both need to do is to enjoy what you're doing, and do it simultaneously so that you're both aroused and relaxed at the same time.

As for being wet, that's what they make sexual lubricants for. Get yourself some, and use it liberally. If it still hurts, then you're just not ready. Your vaginal muscles are always tight, and only complete arousal will loosen them so that it won't be painful.

That's why most virgins are in pain the first time, and sometimes for many times. Don't get the idea that if you do it once, it will be clear sailing the next time. It won't be any different unless you're aroused, which takes lots of foreplay, concentrating on the clitoris. Even if you're not a virgin....even if you've been with 20 men, you STILL need that foreplay to relax your vaginal muscles, or it will hurt.

Being nervous and worried is what makes it painful, because you're not allowing yourself to relax enough. Check out www.the-clitoris.com and maybe you'll understand more about ho9w it all works.