Advice Needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Advice Needed
26
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 6:22am

I met this great guy who is so easy to talk to and whom I trust completely. We are friends but we talk about everything including sex. I told DH about him just so DH wouldn't assume the wrong thing. I even told him what this guy and I talk about. DH isn't comfortable completely but he doesn't want to not trust me either.

This guy and I hit it off really well and we are both in a long-term relationship. He has already made an agreement with me that we should never meet and that we are only talking as friends and to learn from one another. I am completely comfortable talking to him but I'm worried that what we talk about may make DH think the wrong thing about this guys and my friendship.

If we are only talking out of innocence and to learn from each other is that a bad thing? Has anyone else gone through something simialar? I don't want to cut ties with this guy and him and I are only friends! I'm not sure what to do...

Advice and tips would be great. Thanks everyone!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: momma_cj18
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:37am
I understand what you're saying.. All I'm saying is if you're attracted to him, you should stop the communicating. That will lead to some sort of trouble. You may not think it now, but you will get emotionally attached. You're heart will be broken. Trust me on that, please.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
In reply to: momma_cj18
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:41am
Thanks, I didn't mean to sound rude. I really do appreciate you're advice and you are right about everything. I can't believe I allowed myself to get into this mess!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
In reply to: momma_cj18
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:42am
I do trust you. Thanks so much for the advice. I didn't mean to seem nnasty. I guess I don't take this kind of responding well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
In reply to: momma_cj18
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:57am

Oh, it is ANYTHING BUT EASY!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: momma_cj18
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 11:37am
I don't think you sounded nasty at all. In the end, you need to decide what you want to do. You have to live with it. I'm just giving you advice as having been there done that and would hate to see you go through the pain. After all, that's what friends do.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: momma_cj18
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 12:00pm

In all your replies to various posters, you've never answered MY question. Did you meet this guy on the internet? If not, where would you have "met" someone that you talk to all the time, but you've never "met" him?

If it IS the internet, then whether you like it or not, you're having an "emotional" affair with this guy. The fact that you've told your husband about it means nothing. The fact that your husband is uncomfortable about it means a LOT! The fact that you "need" this "friendship" says a lot, too.

If you've never "met" the guy, then why are you so worried about "hurting" him? How about hurting your marriage? That's what you need to worry about. This guy is a virtual stranger to you. You know nothing about him except what he tells you.....and that could be a pack of lies. For all you know, he could even be a neighbor!

You may be "wise beyond your years" about many things, but you're being very naive about this. You have nothing to gain from this "friendship", and LOTS to lose.

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to make you stop and think about what's REALLY important in your life, and is this relationship with a stranger worth jeopardizing your REAL relationship?

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