advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2005
advice please
3
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 8:16pm

hi everybody, i used to be a member here but havent been on for ages so this is my first post with my new name.

i had a miscarriage last year (pregnancy was not planned) and ever since then sex has been pretty much a no-go area with my partner (we live together). he says the only way in his mind to stop it happening again is to not have sex but its ruining our relationship cos i feel like theres no closeness between us. we have sex once in a blue moon and even then he's just going through the motions, he says he's so worried about falling pregnant again and that he doesnt think he'll actually want to have sex until he's ready to start a family. i feel like im stuck in the position where im unhappy with the way things are but the only way out of it is to split up and i dont want it to come to that yet. i dont know what to do, i feel like i need to get my confidence back cos i feel unwanted by my partner, everybody needs to feel wanted sometimes but im sick of being rejected! dont know what to do, sorry this was quite long,

thanks if you got this far, any advice would be much appreciated!
xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 8:29pm

First question, what form of BC are the two of you using?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 9:40pm
I agree with Tish. There are ways available to prevent pregnancy. His fear of you getting pregant is ruling his life unnecessarily. Everyone needs intimacy in a loving relationship. His attitude will eventually kill your relationship with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 5:08am
Aw that is a tuff one sweetie. It sounds like your man has issues with the whole thing. He really should talk to someone about it. As long as you all are taking the apporiate measures to prevent pregancy there is no reason why he ahould be freaking out the way he is. I am sure he loves and wants to stay with you but he really needs to talk to someone that can help him sort out the hang ups he has about the miscarriage. A lot of people have had close calls like yours but there is more to it than just afraid of getting you pregant and if you don't get him help things may get worse. You don't deserve to be a relation where you are not happy and there is no reason for it. I wish you the best!!!